Not Yet Alone

Epilogue

Note: I consider this to be more of a conclusion than an epilogue. In my mind, an epilogue means that this is end. I don't consider this to be the end; it's just where the story stops, for now.

****

I have lost my phone before, but then I found it.

I have lost my phone more than once, so I had to find it more than once. Just because I found my phone, it didn't mean that I would never have to find it again.

 I have lost myself before. It was like I was standing in a dense forest with no light in sight. But no amount of crying on the floor could fix my problem. Only God could do that.

God found me once, and he found me again.

At least I'm not alone in it. I am forever changed because God found me on the street.

I never expected to be found, but now I'll never be the same again.

****

Driving to the CBA headquarters place.

It is not my favorite place, and I certainly do not want to see a particular person there.

 However, it needs to be done. I can be a big girl and take responsibility for my choices.

So what if Fabien will know that I am The Providence. At least I'll still be alive.

What is the worst possible thing any human can do to me? God is with me no matter what.

We pulled up to our destination. Austin and I got out of his car. Austin's face is wearing quite an unhappy look. He doesn't like what I am about to do.

For the occasion, I am wearing a short sleeved white t-shirt, ruby colored jeans, and sparkley flats. No more black for me. I feel that sparkles do not fit my personality very well, but for what is going to happen today, it fits perfectly.

I really don't know why I have not turned myself in sooner. I was only trying to avoid the unavoidable.

Why didn't I identify myself from the start? I couldn't find my identity then; now I'm not alone.

I can handle it now. I won't break down when it falls on me.

We walked up to Fabien's office; our feet made tapping sounds on the polished marble steps. I enjoyed looking out the tall glass windows which over looked the streets.

I knew what it would be; my last glance of true freedom.

Fabien was waiting for us. He allowed us to seat ourselves before speaking. "What did you find in New York City?"

What does Fabien know of our happenings in New York? He knows that I ended up in a hospital, however, that is basically the limit of his knowledge.

I gave Austin a glance, but his arms were folded across his chest and his eyes were staring at a stain of the floor. Fabien set down his pen, waiting for a reply.

Austin obviously was  giving me to opportunity to make my choice. Do I tell Fabien or not? I get to choose.

So I made my choice and spoke. "No, we found nothing."

I could tell Fabien did not like what he heard. "When I agreed to support you in your trip to New York, you promised me that I would not be disappointed. You promised that The Providence would be found."

"I know what I promised." I put special emphasis on the 'I'. This deal is mine. I want to make sure Austin doesn't get pulled into this. I love him too much to let him get in trouble for me. "However, it was unnecessary. I am The-" I was cut off by Austin.