My Saving Grace

Don't Leave Me Lonely

Almost a week had passed since Ben and Miranda had spoke. She didn't keep her promise to stay in touch and come around. And Ben was still too upset to even want to find out why she hadn't even though he thought about her and worried about her everyday.

Ben was thankful to be a doctor in this moment because he had been picking up extra shifts for the past few week. He didn't want to go home and be alone but even staying at the hospital in an on call room, he couldn't sleep but he tried anyway.
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"Ben....BEN BABY COME HERE!" Janet called. Ben hurried into the room where his mom was to make sure she was okay. Chemotherapy was taking a way worse toll on her body than the actual cancer and since his dad died two years before from a massive heart attack he was her full time caregiver when her nurse aid wasn't there.

"I need to use the bathroom son but my legs feel too weak for me to move," Janet said with a crack in her voice. She hated the predicament that she was in and that her son had to do almost everything for her. He wasn't getting the chance to live his life because he was only working and racing home to take care of her.

"It's okay momma I got you," Ben said reassuring his sweet mother. Ben picked his mother up and carried her to the bathroom.

Janet insisted that Ben turned around while she used the bathroom but he just chuckled at her stubbornness and need for independence at the littlest thing because she was going to need his help when she finished.

Janet requested to go to the bathroom several more times. Ben sat at the end of her bed with a concerned look on his face worried that she maybe constipated.

"My stomach hurts so much but nothing is happening," Janet expressed.

Later that night Ben was awoken out of his sleep by the sound of his mother screaming. He ran to her room and when he rushed in she was laying there gripping her stomach. Ben quickly called 911 as he attended to his mother.

He got to the hospital a few minutes after the ambulance and when he entered the ER to find his mother a doctor informed him that she was rushed up to the OR for emergency surgery. She had developed an intestinal perforation that they need to quickly fix it.

Ben sat in the waiting room quietly but on the inside he was a nervous wreck. He had no one to turn to for support. His mom was the last bit of family he had since his dad died and his sister ran off and never looked back when their mom became sick several years back.

Ben looked up when he saw the surgeons coming towards him. He stood up waiting for the news they had to give. "Dr. Warren, I am Dr. Shelby your mom's surgeon. She pulled through the surgery but because of the perforation in her intestines that was leaking waste, it also went directly into her bloodstream causing sepsis. We have her on heavy antibiotics but her organs aren't responding, she is in her room now if you would like to see her," Dr. Shelby said before walking away.

Ben slowly walked into his mother's room and quickly sat down as he just stared at her on a ventilator and he felt like his world was crumbing. His mom had become his best friend and now she was laying there barely hanging onto life, he official felt alone in this world.

It had been a week and Janet wasn't getting better. All of her organs were failing and she had already signed a DNR years ago when she first got sick. Ben sat in her room and jumped when he heard the machines sound alerting that her heart had stopped. Ben instantly felt like a kid needing his mother but she couldn't help.

The nurses came in and turned the sound on the monitors down and offered Ben some tissues as he cried. "Mom....momma don't leave me please. I'll be all alone if you leave me so don't leave me please," Ben pleaded as he sobbed into the side of the bed and held his mom's hand.
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Ben jumped up as he woke up out of his sleep covered in sweat. He dropped back down onto his pillow as he just stared at the ceiling of the on call room. He looked at his watch and it was almost time to give report and go home. He didn't pick up another shift this time and he quickly regretted it. After Ben finished report and gathered his things he headed home.