My Saving Grace

Not In the Plans

Ben woke up listening to the rain and just stroking Miranda's hair as she slept on his chest. It had become her favorite way to sleep even though she'd complain that he was like a furnace. They would just keep the room cold because even with that complaint she always ended up sleeping on his chest. He didn't mind because he loved being next to her and liked that she found comfort from him.

"Ummmm is it early?" Miranda asked with a raspy voice from screaming during their love making.

"Yes it's 6am," Ben replied looking at her.

Miranda put her head back on Ben's chest and tangled her legs with his and he squeezed her hip. Miranda loved moments like this. They had the whole day to themselves and they usually enjoyed it by either staying home or going to see a movie.

Miranda and Ben sat on the couch cuddling and Ben kept kissing and caressing Miranda's body as they watched tv. Miranda giggled at how much he was doing it, "Benn we're supposed to be watching tv."

"Maybe we should let the tv watch us if you catch my drift," Ben said in a sensual ton and Miranda giggled.

When there was a loud knock on the door, Ben and Miranda looked at each other with concern before Ben got up to open the door. Ben looked in the peephole then quickly swung the door open when Tucker was standing there holding Tuck with a panic in his face. Tucker rushed in towards Miranda and she quickly stood up looking confused at what was happening.

"He's been laying around all weekend, crying, he won't eat and light seems to bother him so I think he has a headache and he when he goes to walk he collapses to the floor," Tucker explained quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me before now that he was having symptoms," Miranda shouted taking her young son out of his dad's arms.

Ben rushed to get dressed but heard Miranda and Tucker arguing. He hurried back out there looking at the toddler in distress.

"STOP IT! We don't have time for this we need to get him to the emergency room," Ben yelled as he took the toddler out of Miranda's arms and she went to quickly get dressed.

Tucker tried to snatch Tuck out of Ben's arms but Ben backed away. "I got him, I hold him all the time," Ben said sternly.

Miranda rushed back out, putting her coat on and Ben saw the fear in her eyes as she went through the list of what could be wrong with Tuck.

"I'm taking him to the hospital," Tucker stated as he reached for his son and this time the boy reached out for him.

Ben drove the car quickly but efficiently as he silently comforted Miranda by holding her hand and caressing it. He was trying to keep up with Tucker but he drove with the intent to lose him on the highway.

"I don't understand how I was married to such an asshole. Why would he be driving like that with our baby in the car and why didn't he just take him to the hospital instead of coming to us," Miranda vented.

"I don't know baby but hopefully Tuck will be okay," Ben tried reassuring her.

When they made it to the hospital Tucker was taking Tuck out of the car and Miranda went ahead into the emergency room to get him registered in. Once Tuck was registered in they sat in the waiting room waiting for him to be assessed and he kept whining so Miranda took him in her arms and held him against her chest to comfort him.

Moments later they were called so they he could be assessed and he was placed in a ER room. Because Tuck was experiencing pain they gave him medicine and he went to sleep while he had blood work done. After that he went for an x-ray and Miranda requested an MRI as well.

It was over an hour and neither Tucker, Miranda or Ben spoke. They didn't know what to say and honestly whenever Miranda and Tucker spoke they were arguing and their son didn't need that right now. Ben was quiet because this was triggering for him, all the people he loved from his past either died or left him and he just hoped that wasn't happening again. It almost made him feel like this was his fault.

A resident and an attending came into the room, "Hello, I'm Dr. Parker this is Dr. Hilton and we've looked over the blood test and it confirmed there was a high amount of white blood cells and his red blood cells are low.

Miranda was a doctor but in this moment she couldn't comprehend what the resident was saying, it all just became a blur as she felt her chest get heavy and it felt like her throat was going to close. When she felt Ben touch her back she came back into reality.

"So it sounds like acute leukemia. Do you know if it's myelogenous or lymphocytic?" Miranda asked.

"It's acute lymphocytic leukemia he is only stage 2 so he will do chemo treatments.

Ben sat quietly looking at Miranda and Tucker and everything seems to be moving in slow motion. He didn't have time to process his feelings when he knew he needed to be there for Miranda. Suddenly Tucker got up as tears looked to be threatening to fall from his eyes and he was trying to hide that. Miranda turned and looked at Ben with sad eyes he never wanted to see be hers after all she'd already been through.

She got up and walked out of the room and Ben went and stood at the door. He watched as Miranda walked up behind Tucker and touched his back. Tucker turned and quickly broke down allowing his large frame to collapse onto Miranda and she tried to hold him up. Ben's jaw clenched but he fought back the territorial feelings and jealous emotion because even though he didn't think Tucker deserved comfort from her he understood it was because they shared Tuck.

Tucker agreed to stay with Tuck while Ben and Miranda drove home so she could pack somethings and come back to the hospital to stay. The drive home was silent but Ben grabbed her hand and kissed it. When they made it home Ben watched as Miranda moved around and she looked like she was outside of her body. Miranda stood at the dresser pulling things out and Ben stood behind her for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her and her body stiffened. Miranda stood still, staring into space, trying to fight the emotions that threatened to drown her with her own tears. But the longer Ben held her the less she was able to hold back.

Suddenly a cry came out of her throat and she fell forward. Ben held her up as she wept loudly and Ben picked her up and walked over to the bed. Ben held her close and she pulled on his shirt collar as she cried in his chest. Thirty minutes went by and now Miranda laid in his arms quietly but tears still stained her face and fell periodically. Miranda's cell phone rang and Ben reached over her to answer it.

"Hello."

"Oh hey, ummm Tuck is awake and asking for Miranda so I was just wondering when she would be back," Tucker said.

"We'll be back soon," Ben said.

Ben hung up the phone and looked Miranda in the face. "I heard him," Miranda closed her eyes and sighed.

"Thank you for letting me cry but I have to be strong for Tuck so he can win this fight. But this is not something I ever thought we would have to go though."

"I know....I have been through it so I'm here to support you, hold you and uphold you whenever you need me," Ben replied.

Miranda gave him a slight smile and he kissed her lips before they both moved to get up and head back to the hospital.