⚠️TW⚠️: there will be SH and a ED in this part of the story if you do not feel comfortable reading this then skip this.
You are just out for dinner with your cast mates and you have a nice big plate of food in-front of you which you do not want to eat but you did because you knew you needed it and that people were watching you.
You force feed yourself to eat yet you did not finish the whole plate of food as you were beginning to feel sick.
All of you and cast were having a great time as you get up to use the bathroom.
You shove one finger into your mouth and stroke the back of the tongue making you gag.
You do this continuously until you hear someone come in.
It was Helen "Are you alright y/n" as soon as she says that you vomit "y/n what stall are you in. Do you want me to hold your hair or even help you?" "No thank you Helen I am done now" you said this even though you knew you were not done and you were going to do more when you get home.
You walk out the stall and see Helen pull a small smile then she sees your fingers which were covered in vomit and saliva.
Her smile is quickly turned into a frown and her puppy eyes stare at yours.
She grabs you into a hug and you take it.
You had a soft spot for Helen you always have but you never knew why.
Was it the amazing smile she has or the crazy cute laugh she has or just the way she talks to the way she looks to the way she dresses.
You don't know it was just HER.
She pulls away and kisses your four head.
You wash your hands thoroughly.
You head back to your table Helen just behind you.
You sit down and you all talk about everything and anything you know. You loved your cast as they were so supportive and funny.
You were close with the cast but the main two were billie piper and Helen McCrory.
Eva asked for the bill and Billie payed which you hated but she insisted.
You headed out which the driver was hanging around for you as you see Helen waiting for her driver.
"Helen get in we are staying at the same hotel and well my driver already here" you say "thank you very much y/n" she says as she gets into the car.
"Take us to the plaza Vegas please" you order the driver (I have been here before and it is amazing).
The car journey was just you and Helen messing around but every so often the both of you would flirt.
———-you get there——————
Helen gets out the car and helps you out as paparazzi is taking photos of the both of you mainly you but still.
Sometimes you just want to die as the world just gets to you easily, they body shame you send you death wishes and ways more.
You have loads of scars on you as you do self harm. Your practically a barcode. Someone could scan you and you would cost 20p.
You get inside and head to the lift which you offer Helen to go first but then she offers you then you both give up and go in.
You were level 26 and Helen level 17. The ride was beginning to feel very awkward and it was dead silent.
You kiss her but regret it almost instantly.
