71

Chapter 69

Don't even get me started on the affair concerning how I get Coal on the Beast's back. It's enough to say it almost killed me for the umpteenth time today. I'm kind of getting tired of coming this close to dying. Because so far, I haven't. Which is kind of obvious, considering I'm writing this... I'm just gonna stop talking.
I'm sitting cross legged on the Beast's back, one hand buried deep in the matted white fur, the other steadying Coal, who is slumped face down in front of me. I my hand to his bare back- I register the icy coldness of his skin, and press hard between the shoulder blades, trying to pick up a heartbeat. Nothing. But I dismiss this, knowing quite possibly that my hands are so numb I probably can't feel my own pulse.
I'm wondering how you jumpstart a Beast... I mean, is there a key, or wires, or... When it's wings begin to slowly extend on either side. I flatten myself to it's thick back, entangling my free hand even deeper in the fur. Just cause I think it would really suck to survive everything so far, only too fall off a flying shag carpet just as I'm trying to turn the tide.
"BOOM." One massive beat of the wings produces a shock wave which sends dust and dirt along the ground swirling up into tiny eddies. "BOOM." Another strike, and the monster folds it's short, stubby legs up against it's bulky body. I frown, trying to figure out how the Beast's wings, however large, are able to lift the tremendously heavy animal, but my head hurts, so I shake the stray thoughts aside. Only one thing matters now... Or two, kind of three... Okay, a lot more than one. But the point is that one of those is getting Coal to safety-
No, that was never a priority, I remind myself. The most important thing is to survive. Because I know the secret of success, of how to bring defeat to the Order, to the Rulers. And-get this- It's not really a secret. But I'll keep it like that until you need to know. I bet you'll be disappointed.
In my distraction, my grip loosens, and my stomach lurches when I feel Coal sliding out from beneath my hands. I grab his arm and pull him back up, though, determined not to lose him now.
And now we're soaring. As tired and almost-dead as I am, I find myself leaning far out over the creature's broad sides, now that we've risen up and over the Bowl, out of the edge. Now there's absolutely nothing between me and death, nothing but this random wild animal that I've given free rein. YIKES.
I steel myself. C'mon, Ash, you don't need that extra hand there. That extra hand stabilizing you, keeping you from tumbling off to the side, plummeting to your death thousands of feet below, crashing through the branches of poison plants and vines which make your body instantly break out into painful bloody red boils, breaking every bone in your body when you hit a branch before finally becoming a little grease spot on the face of the planet. What was the point of this again?
My eyes are heavy, and I find my eyelids sliding shut all on their own, my head nodding... It would be so, so easy... Just to let myself drift off... So simple. Is that what it's like, then? Death? Nice and easy? Unlike life? My entire life has been a struggle for survival, one huge test, where you can never count on anything, because you might not live till the next morning- And here I am, on the brink of death, and everything is simplified. Almost makes me want it to end...
The Beast lurches slightly in it's aimless flight, and my eyelids flutter, swollen and encrusted with yearning for sleep. Unconscious of myself, I reach out with my stabilizing hand and grasp one of the creature's horns firmly, driving it upwards, the nose pointing down.
Oh my god, I never, ever, never ever never ever ever would have been able to imagine myself doing this like, five years ago or something. Then again, I never would I have thought I'd be one to fall prey to a cute, wolf-eared traitor's plans... Not to mention, fall in love with that same Royal.
My other hand tightens protectively on Coal's shoulder, pressing him to the animal's back, though I'm not sure how much longer my trembling arm can stand the strain. Who am I kidding? If I were to lessen my grip, even for a second, Coal would begin to slide, to fall, and as it is, I barely have the strength to steady him, much less catch him and pull him back to safety. But I can't let go now... Not when I'm so close, so close to-
To what? Really. My stomach drops suddenly when the Beast strains against my weakening hold on it's horn, swerving unpredictably to the right, and I grit my teeth with the strain of pointing it's nose back in the right direction, downwards, towards the base of the mountain.
Even if I make it there, even if I don't pass out from extreme exhaustion, or even if I don't die, right here and now- I face one, ever present, unchangeable fact: It won't be over.
As much as I'd like to think that, to recall that nonsensical bliss and certainty that I felt earlier, now I'm all business, and I can't drive away the truth, as much as I don't want to face it.
I know that if we do manage to do what I'm aiming for, of which by every passing second my doubt increases, we'll still be facing the impossible. Well, the impossibler.
Basically, just accomplishing this won't save our world as we know it, our Wold. Won't obliterate the Order. This struggle, the fight with Nature itself, the survival on this god-forsaken mountain, this is nothing; nothing, compared to the h-e-double-toothpick that's gonna break out afterwords.
It won't be over. It'll never be over, till someone's six feet underground in a little wooden box.