Love hurts { TomTord | Hanahaki }

Chapter 10

Lol, finally.
Enjoy the chapter :)
TW btw
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Friday
2 days until the surgery

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I woke up to my phone ringing.
Slowly sitting up and picking up my phone, I answer the call without bothering to look at who it was.

" Hello..? "

I finally heard my voice.
Seems like the flowers in my throat withered away.

" Tord?
Is that you?
God you sound awful.
Edd made me call you to see how you're doing. "
My blood ran cold and my heart starting pounding into my ears.
I willed myself to give a weak answer.

" Tom...? "

" Listen, just answer.
I would rather not be talking to you right now.
And tell me why the hell you left again?
I know damn well you don't see your family unless something is up. "

My throat suddenly felt dryer than it did before.
I didn't know how to answer him.
I didn't want him to know.
He can't know.
He can't know.
He can't know.

" I have to get lung surgery. "

I internally sighed to myself.
At least it wasn't the full truth.

" Lung surgery?
For what? "

" I uhm...well. "

I might as well tell him.
He'll know soon anyway if I don't tell him now.
He'll probably just ask Edd or Matt.

" I uh...I have a disease.
A disease that could..kill me.
And if I don't get this surgery, I just know that I'll die. "

"......what disease? "

Tom sounded worried??
But why?
It's not like he's ever cared about me before..
I mean, there was that time in the hospital..but he did start yelling at me.
Fuck it.
Just tell him.

Maybe if you tell him he'll help you die faster

I tried to ignore the voice.

" I-It's a pretty rare disease I'm sure you won't even know what it is.
But uh.
I have this disease, called Hanahaki.
And basically, it's where this seed grows in my lungs and produces these flowers.
They will slowly suffocate me.
Yesterday came close enough.. "

" That sounds really stupid. "

Of course he would say that.
Why did I expect anything else.

I hung up on him.
I didn't mean to, but I just couldn't handle it.

He doesn't care.
No one does.
Just kill yourself.
No one would miss you.
Your parents hate you.
Matt hates you.
Edd hates you.
And best of all, Tom wishes you were dead.
He's never wanted you around in the first place.
You're better off dead.
If you don't kill yourself, then you better hope that the surgery does.

I started to hit my head with my fists.
Mumbling to myself.

" shut up...shut up....shut up...please just shut the hell up.... "

I felt the bile rise in my throat.
The acidic liquid rising higher and higher.
I rushed to the bathroom as fast as I could.
I couldn't breath.
I really couldn't breath.
The bile and flowers rushed from my mouth, into the toilet below.
I felt my stomach clench tighter and tighter.
I felt like I was dying.
I clenched the toilet seat so hard that the injuries on my arm opened up again.
Flowers soon growing on my arm, faster than last time.
I'm not sure when I stopped throwing up, but it felt like forever before I finally came back to my senses.

My Dad was holding me, carrying me back to my bed.
The cigarette in his mouth gave off some smoke.
The smell comforting.

" I can walk.. "

I rasped out.
Pushing myself out of his arms.

" Sure you can. "
He huffed.

I stumbled a bit, but eventually found my footing.
Albeit a bit shaky, I made my way downstairs where Pa and Matt were.
They both looked at me, worriedly.

I gave them a reassuring smile and sat down on the couch.
Acting like nothing had ever happened, and ignoring the stares they all gave me.

God...when will this suffering end..?