distance between us

𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙝

Crying non stop and endless thoughts of him.
whenever you see his name,the photos even the videos you have of him makes you want to cry and scramble up into your bed wanting to forget everything. seeing any little bit dedicated to him made you break down.
even to a trip to the mountains you cried
for the first time in forever to olivia rodrigos album. Every time he replied the notifications "jeremy" came up you felt sick.
What about him made you really like him ?
was that whenever he did show that he care and loved me i felt special i felt like i was living the life and that you know what life was good but now it's gone and now he was the only reason, stopping you from moving countries now nothing stopping you anymore.
going through denial thinking of what you should've said instead of what you actually said.
thinking of ways to make you hate him.
and only way was him spending his time with clare or ren because you couldn't find any other way to be mad at him than thinking of him spending time with the people you hated the most.

it's the day of your therapist appointment.
last time you saw her you were talking about Jer and how he was so amazing and how much you've thank him because he was there for you, helping you. and now he's gone. the person whose been by your side during some hard times. left
"so Y/N how are you" your therapist says
"to be completely honest these past few days i haven't been the best" Y/N hesitantly says.
"and why is that" your therapist pulls out a piece of paper and is ready to write.
"well jer broke up with me" Y/N says tucking herself into her chair.
"oh and why is that" your therapist asks. you could tell she felt sorrow for you because last time you were here you talked about how he's helped you.
"i... i don't know" Y/N lies trying to avoid talking about the situation.
"you know the same morning i was talking to my sister how i wanted to break up with him because and how i was just scared too" Y/N sits up straight.
"so is it like he ended something that you were supposed to end, correct me if i'm wrong" your therapist writes while looks up.
"you're right i was more upset because he was the one that did it. i feel like it wouldn't have been AS bad if i did it" Y/N  shrugs her shoulders a bit.
"i understand" your therapist writes down a bit longer than 2 minutes and continues to talk.
"thank you Y/N i'll see you next time" Y/N therapist says as she closes the door and waved goodbye.
"bye bye" Y/N waves back as she walks to the car.

"hey sweetie how was it" mom says.
"it was alright can we just go" Y/N says as rolling towards the window.