//Marvel Characters X Reader Oneshots//

//Love Resented//Loki x Reader//

Word Count: 1053

A/n: So I did take one line from this sheet: https://pin.it/5MFJVuN . Credit where credit is due.

Warnings: Angst, Mental Illness, Anorexia

I watched as Loki held Sigyn, waltzing with her around the reflection pool. Glumly, I held my book in one hand, at this point sagging so that the words weren't even visible from where I sat. Norns, what I would give to be her. 

"Lady (Y/n), how are you?" Thor boomed from behind me.

"Absolutely dandy," I mumbled, keeping my eyes upon Loki. I wished I could be happy for him, but I couldn't seem to do it. Just seeing those two together felt like a stab through the heart- no, worse than that.

"What is wrong my friend?" Thor asked setting himself down beside me on the bench.

"It's nothing Thor, really," I mumbled softly, before standing up bowing lightly to him, and then retiring to my room.

***

"I had the most lovely evening with Sigyn last night," Loki gushed. 

I'm going to need some alcohol for this, I thought before making a bottle of mead appear in one hand, two goblets in the other. I poured a goblet for Loki before handing it to him and then poured myself a goblet before downing it and quickly refilling it. "Go on," I said.

"So we went stargazing like you suggested," He explained. Stargazing, I thought. Yes, I had always wanted to go stargazing with Loki. "And as the sun set, we danced and laughed. It was the best time I think I have ever had." I felt my eyes gloss over so I looked down. "Are you alright (Y/n)?" 

"Yes," I said, knowing I was caught red-handed. "Just thinking of a sad book I was reading earlier. That's all."

***

As time wore on I could no longer stand the sight of Sigyn, though she tried to talk to me, claiming she should get to know Loki's best friend. In her presence, I felt sick, and thus my appetite had paled. Loki noticed but said nothing, probably too busy. But Frigga spoke up."My dear, you eat far too little. Please eat, if not for me, then for Loki." I nodded and ate a large helping of food, only for it to come up thirty minutes later, and not of my mind's accord. Nothing helped. I stopped going to training and leaving my room. 

That was when I was met by a foul presence. I entered my room from the bathroom when he stood there, Laufey, tall and brooding. I gulped as I looked up at him. "You, I hear, are a most powerful goddess," I said, his voice low and scratching. "You don't look it."

"Doesn't really matter," I mumbled, sitting upon my bed, letting my head hang low.

"Ah, but it does," He replied. "I have an offer for you."

"Continue," I said. I had nothing to lose, and when you have nothing to lose you can do quite a few dumb things. 

"I know how you feel, the pain that burns your soul. I can relieve you of it."

"Sure," I scoffed. "And what exactly is your price?"

"You will help me to bring the Nine Realms to frost giants rule."

"What makes you think I'd do that?"

"Because I know that your pain is unbearable, really it is a small price to pay for your freedom."

I let his offer mull in my mind before agreeing to his terms. He instantly brought me to an icy dungeon, locking me up. The conditions bothered me but did not distress me. My mind's prison had prepared me for such events. 

***

About a month later I was brought to an icy throne room and flung upon the floor by a pair of guards. "Yes, my king?" I scowled at the beast.

"Our time has come," He stated. "You will take us to Asgard." I nodded and brought them through the passageway that Loki had shown me all those years ago. 

As we approached the castle I snuck off to go warn Loki. Laufey had lied, none of my pain was relieved and I knew it wouldn't be, but I could still save Loki. 

I found him in his room, he held his dagger out towards me and his armor on the bed waiting to be put on. He snarled at me as I approached him and didn't put his dagger down. "Loki-" I began

"You brought them here didn't you?" He growled at me.

I stepped closer to him, "Loki I can explain."

"I don't want your petty explanations, you selfish b-"

"I love you, okay?! And I know you don't love me, but I can't help it. I love you. I love you more than anyone could ever love another! I love you more than Freya misses Óðr. Okay?" Tears streamed down my face as I let my heart's prose be unleashed. "I resent how much I love you, and I wish every second of every day that I could get rid of this feeling. I know in my rational mind there is no reason I should feel this way, yet I do. I hate it, but I can't seem to hate you. Norns, I wish I could hate you, but I can't. So please just end it, take the shot. I don't care anymore." My chest heaved as the stale air entered my lungs and I stretched my arms, ready to take whatever blow might come my way.

The knife fell to the floor with a clang. "You- you love me?" He stuttered out.

"You didn't know that?" A low drawl said from beside me. Laufey lifted my head with his cold fingers and wrapped his other hand against my hip as I struggled against him. "She seemed to be awfully bad at hiding it. Surely you realized all the weight she lost? Or were you too busy? My goddess is-"

"She's not yours!" Loki screamed.

"Well, she's not yours either," Laufey tsked. "It's a shame she could have been."

"I- I know I made mistakes, but please leave her be,"  Loki said drawing out another dagger. 

I felt a white pain in my side as I collapsed to the floor. The icy hands were replaced Loki's soothingly cool ones. I could make out a bed sheet that he grasped and was pressing to the wound, the green slowly turning crimson. I placed my hand on his tear-streaked face. "Till we meet again, love," I sputtered, blood inching its way down my chin.

"I'm not letting you die," Loki mumbled as the world went black. 

A/n: Is (Y/n) dead? The world may never know. Until next time my dear reader.