Tan Lines and Closed Eyes ( Ziall AU)

Chapter 5

Niall's POW

I was sitting on my bed, hugging my knees. My whole body was on fire. My bum hurt so much, and feeling the cum starting to dry on my screaming red skin made me want to puke. And I was so tired. But I couldn't close my eyes. If I kept my eyes open I would be aware of the things happening to my body. I was too scared to sleep and I wanted to get away from here. But I was too scared to go anywhere knowing he would find the house empty when he woke up. I was too afraid, afraid of him. There wasn't anything to do except sit there and breathe, sit there and pump blood through my body.

Even tho I tried to fight back the feelings taking over my body, I couldn't help the tears escaping. Shame, so much shame.

I told him to stop.

I dragged my shaky legs in the dark hallway, the only guide being the moonlight in the darkness, streaming from windows from the other end of the hallway .5am. I couldn't make myself stay in the bed anymore so I slowly had made my way out of the room, making sure Rick snored peacefully without any signs of waking up before closing the wooden bedroom door. I was walking on my tiptoes, trying to keep the balance when my whole body and mind were shaking. I hated how cold and shaky I was, but how at the same time I felt so hot and heavy. As I stopped in front of the mirror, I wanted to look in the mirror and check myself. Scared to find stranger looking back at me in the mirror, I carefully lifted my head. The moon light hit my face making me look dead pale while the other body were just dark blur, but back stared the same eyes, same me. At least I'm still myself.

I let the crystal clear water stream freely to the water boiler, watching it filling up. I set the pot back on the place. I pressed the on button and a red light light up on the machine, informing me that the water was warming up. I opened the cupboard and took out a box with a label that said tea on the side with big capital letters, and picked carefully bag of my favourite tea out of the many flavours. I also took out my favourite tea cup and put the tea box back to the place where it belonged. I could hear the sound of water slowly starting to boil, the sound starting to fill the quiet kitchen. I placed the tea cup and the bag on the table with shaky hands and took a silver spoon out of the drawer where we had always kept our silverware. The light of the water boiler died, and a little click sound told me that the water was ready. With two hands I took the pot and poured the water carefully, not really trusting my shaky hands.

Everything were so quiet. Moonlight were shining trough the window. It was full moon. and the sky were clear. I was sitting on chair that I had pulled to the window and stared out. The neighbourhood were so peaceful, but it wouldn't take long until adults started rushing to the work and the few kids that also happened to leave here had to leave to the school. The half empty tea cup was warming up my hands, slowly emptying as I sought for the comfort from the warmness that streamed down my throat. The liquid burned it's way to my stomach, leaving the numb warm feeling behind that lasted for a little while. I drank the tea to the last drop. The old grandfather clock in the living room made a familiar noice, repeating it like heartbeat, steadily. One, two, three, four, five, six times. 6am.

~~~~~~~~

He was weirdly gentle with me in the morning. I almost started thinking that he would be guilty.

I said no

But only almost.

I was standing in hall handing the jacket to him. I was standing here with a fake smile, even tho my mind was screaming for me to get away from him. I was standing here with a fake smile as I looked him get ready for his day at office. I felt him press a kiss on my cheek, that's unusual. A whisper "You were great last night" , before he made his way to the door. I was fighting back the urge throw up, with a fake smile still on my face.Fake smile that disappeared right that moment when the front door closed.