Full Throttle

Brazil

I woke up to the sound of the kettle being boiled. I checked the alarm clock: 7.22am.
"Good morning, chérie," Julien said, walking over and leaning down to give me a kiss.
"Morning."
"I made tea, you've got to be down for breakfast in about half an hour, okay?"
"Thank you," I murmured into the pillow, closing my eyes again.
"No, no, that means you need to get up," he chuckled. "Have your tea. What clothes are you wearing today?"
"I can pick my own clothes out." I sat up, rubbing my eyes before taking the mug that was held out to me.
"I know that, but I'm going to do it today so that everything is ready for you. So, what clothes are you going to wear today?"
"Um, jeans, yeah, those blue ones, and my Toro Rosso shirt and Toro Rosso hoodie. It's going to rain today."
"How are you feeling about that?"
"Excited, I like the rain. I just don't enjoy the sprays from other cars that make me blind to everything over 15 feet," I laughed, finishing the tea and setting the mug down. I swung my legs out of bed, stretching, before wandering into the bathroom.
"Julien!"
"What is it?"
I stared at him with wide eyes through the mirror.
"My fucking neck! Makeup won't hide all of this!"
"Aha, sorry, mon ange," he laughed. I sighed and closed the door and started getting ready for the day.

"Ah, Jessie, good morning," Max said as I stepped into the lift.
"Morning."
"How was your date?" Daniel asked.
"Good."
"I told you he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you," Max laughed. I turned a deep shade of red.
"The makeup doesn't quite cover them," Daniel told me.
"For fucks sake," I groaned, taking the hairband out of my hair and unplaiting it, letting my unruly curl spill out around my shoulders.
"Don't you have to have your hair up?"
"Yeah, but I would have seen Katie by the time it needs to be back in a plait," I said to the Dutchman.
"Was he any good?"
"Shut up, Max."
"Yeah, Max, leave the girl alone," Daniel chuckled. "Where even is he?"
"He's coming up later, he hasn't had breakfast yet."
"Ah, okay." The door opened, and I walked out, meeting Pierre and Charles, of whom I walked to the Paddock with.

"I am so fucking tired," I groaned, checking myself in at the gates.
"Do you want a Red Bull?" Pierre asked.
"Car? Yes. Energy drink? Also yes, gimme."
Charles laughed as Pierre opened his bag, giving me a can of the caffeinated drink.
"Technically, you already have a Red Bull car, driving for Toro Rosso," Charles said.
"Shut up, Ferrari boy. You and I both know it's not the same."
"You know, it's really amazing to have seen you come out of your shell throughout the season," Pierre said, opening his own can of Red Bull. "You used to be so pent up and anxious. I mean, media interviews used to freak you out, and remember how shy you were when you first came out to dinner in Melbourne?"
"The Jessie that I first met in the elevator in Australia is nowhere to be seen! Honestly, you've come a hell of a long way this season, and it's only your first one! Seb thinks that you'll do amazing things in Formula 1. We're all so glad that you came back after leaving."
"Oh, shut up, you two. Don't get all sentimental now," I said, pulling a face. In truth, I didn't know what to say to them. I wasn't good in situations like these.
"Jessie!"
I turned around to see Julien running towards us.
"Ah, Charles, Pierre, this is Julien."
"Oh, so you're the reason Jessie has hickeys on her neck," Pierre said, dragging out the 'you're'. I glared at the Frenchman.
"We didn't want to say anything, Jess," Charles laughed, "but they're at the front of your neck as well, and your makeup doesn't quite cover them."
"Shut up!"
"Julien finds it funny," Pierre protested.
"Julien! Don't encourage them!" I said, turning to see my boyfriend trying to hold in a laugh. He put his hands up in his defence.
"Not my fault you made yourself irresistible," he purred in French. I turned red, just as the two drivers next to me doubled over in hysterics.
"They both speak French, idiot. Pierre is French, and Charles is from fucking Monaco, you should know that!"
"Oh, I know."
"God, you're so annoying! Pierre, come on," I dragged my teammate upright, "we're going to be late. Bye, Charles."
The Ferrari driver waved a hand to me, wiping the tears from his smiling face. We started walking towards the motorhome when I heard Rachel ask if she could catch Pierre and I for a quick chat.
"Uh, yeah, sure." I turned to Julien, "Stay there, I'll only be a few minutes."
"Now we have the two racing drivers for Toro Rosso, how are you guys today?"
"Uh, yeah, I'm good, Jessie said that she was a bit tired, though," Pierre said.
"Hence the energy drink. Ooh, quick rep right there, go buy Red Bull energy drinks, guys." I winked to the camera.
"Ever the sly one, Jessie. So, how are you guys feeling about this weekend? Are you happy with the weather conditions? Are you happy with the car?"
"I'm happy with the weather, I think. There's nothing I can do if I don't like it, but yeah, it will be good. Um, the car, great as ever. I'm just hoping we get some points this weekend."
"Right, right. Pierre, anything to add?"
"Not really, I'm much the same. The car feels good, and yeah, some points would be great."
"Awesome. So, Jessie, is it any different having an experienced teammate now that Alex Albon has moved to Red Bull? Obviously, they took a huge gamble with putting two rookies in the same team this season, so can you just talk us through that?"
"Uh, yeah, they did take a huge gamble. They explained to us, you know, that we'd have a lot of mentoring from Max and Pierre, and we did. It definitely wouldn't have happened if we were just like any other team, it was solely down to the fact that Toro Rosso is Red Bull's junior team, and they could do the mentoring for it. For example, we'd have meeting with Max and Pierre, and they'd teach us more things just to expand our knowledge of being a driver in Formula One, so I'm very thankful for that. In my opinion, it's definitely paid off; maybe I wouldn't have made some of the mistakes I've made if I had an experienced teammate but, the past is the past, and we've made it through the season. In terms of having Pierre as my teammate now, it's definitely changed from having Alex as my teammate. I have him going over things in the garage straight after the race, and I can take pointers directly from him. Being a rookie as well, it's not just about taking advice from just your teammates, I know Alex and I used to bounce things off each other as a way to work things out with the car, but being a rookie, everyone really helps you and makes you feel comfortable, so it really is throughout the Paddock."
"Great, thanks, Jessie. One more quick question for you, would that be Julien Garcia over there?"
"It would be."
"He surprised her yesterday, he's still supposed to be in Monaco," Pierre said.
"Aw, isn't that sweet? Anyway, thank you for your time, guys, we'll let you get on now."
"Thanks."
"Thanks, Rachel."

My vision was blurry as I climbed out of the car after FP2, and I almost fell over when my feet touched down on the ground.
"Are you okay, Jessie?" one of the mechanics asked me, catching my arm to stop me from toppling over.
"Yeah, just a bit dehydrated, thanks."
I pulled off my headgear, putting it on the side before heading to my driver's room. Nick followed me in.
"Jess, you don't look too good."
"Can you get the meds out of my bag? I forgot to take them this morning. I didn't want Julien to know."
"Jess!"
"Yeah, I know. Can you just get them, please?"
He rummaged through my rucksack, pulling out the plastic container that held my meds in sections of weekdays. He took the pills out of the first compartment for Friday and handed them to me, along with my water bottle. I took them, leaning back against the wall.
"Bonjour, I- are you okay?" Julien's eyebrows were furrowed as he examined my face, then he saw Nick still holding my medication.
"Jessie, what are those?"
"I-, I need to tell you something. Sit down."
"What's going on?" he asked, taking a seat. I took a deep breath.
"I'll leave you guys for a bit. I'll be in the café if you need me, okay, Jess?" Nick said, leaving the room.
"You can't tell anyone. Not a soul. Got it?"
He nodded slowly. I ran my hands through my hair as I told him, wincing occasionally as shots of pain strung through my chest. His face was neutral throughout the entire time I was telling him, and then it wasn't. He exploded.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me!"
"Lower your voice! I didn't tell you because I don't want anybody else knowing, I don't want this going public."
"So you just assumed that I'd tell everyone. Thanks for the trust, Jessie."
"I've only known you for like two months!"
"And yet you agreed to go out with me. Not knowing me for that long didn't stop you last night."
"Julien-"
"Who else knows? Who did you tell first?"
"L-Lando, George, and Alex."
"Oh, how could I have guessed? You spend more time with them than you do with me!"
"Yes, because I've known them for longer."
"I'm your boyfriend!"
"They knew before I even met you!"
"So you've known for a while, and just didn't think to tell me?"
"I'm sorry, but I never got-"
"The time? Yeah, that's because you are always fucking travelling. I thought you trusted me, Jessie? I trust you, I'd tell you something like this, so why didn't you trust me enough to tell me earlier. I thought we had a bond, Jessie."
"We do, I just-"
"Then why didn't you tell me?"
"I-, if this becomes public then it'll be really bad and-"
"There you go again saying how you don't trust me."
"I'm not saying that I don't trust you, but I-"
"You are, though. You're saying that I would go and tell everybody."
"No, I'm not, Julien, I-, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier instead of keeping this to myself."
"I just want what's best for you, chérie."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Now come here, give me a kiss."

"God," I yawned, "I'm so tired."
"Me too. You did so well today, getting P8. It was amazing to watch you race whilst in the garage. It was a proper experience. Honestly, I don't know how you do it all, especially now that you're sick."
"I'm fine, like I said earlier, I'm getting the operation soon. It's nothing to worry about."
"I'm still going to worry about you, I care about you." Julien rolled over to press his body against my back, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"So, what are you doing now? Are you going back to Monaco or are you coming to Abu Dhabi?"
"I'll go back to Monaco; get your apartment sorted out so it will be easier for you after the operation. Do you know what the recovery time is?"
"It varies. My operation is going to be minimally invasive so, one to four weeks, maybe? I'll have to see how it goes, though."
"When are you going to release it to the public?"
"I'm not sure. I'll figure that out at some point. Promise you won't tell anyone, though, not even your parents."
"I promise, but you really should try and trust me more."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just paranoid."
"It's okay."
"My dad is going to be flying out to Monaco on the Wednesday, I think, so that he's there when I have my operation. Obviously, I won't be there, but would you maybe pick him up from the airport and make him feel welcome?"
"Of course, first impressions matter."
"Thank you."
"Any big plans for Abu Dhabi?"
"I don't think so. I might go out for a meal with some of the other drivers, but it's the last race of the season, so it'll be pretty hectic. It's also another night race, which I'm looking forward to. I definitely prefer them over day races."
"Well, I'm glad you're looking forward to it."
"I'm going to try and get some sleep now."
"Okay, goodnight, chérie."
"Goodnight, Julien."