Full Throttle

The Boys Are Back In Town

"Okay, Jessie, that's P8, P8. Well done, excellent drive."
"Thank you, guys. I know it's not the best we can do, but let's get it next time," I said back over the radio, driving around the track before going to parc ferme.
"Hard luck, Alex," I said, approaching my friend and patting him on the back. "You'll get the podium next time."
"Thanks, Jess. It's just frustrating," he sighed.
"Keep fighting, mate. That's all you can do."
"Yeah. Speaking of which," he lowered his voice as we waked together, "how's your heart been?"
"Um, my legs and ankles and feet are swollen again; they have been all weekend. I'm just worried that I'm going to have a dizzy spell while I'm driving."
"Maybe you should tell somebody then. If it's getting dangerous for you to race-"
"I've only had two dizzy spells. I'm not dropping out of the rest of the season when there's only a few more races to go."
"Jessie, you could crash again."
"Alex-"
"No, Jess. I'm not being funny; I'm saying what could actually happen. When you crashed, I, it felt like the world stopped. Seeing it all on the big screens whilst the race was red flagged and seeing the replays of you being dragged out of the car, I never want to see that again. We as a sport can't lose another driver this season. Anthoine's death hurt us all enough, and you, well you're a joy to be around and we all love you. You don't realise how much the three of us worry about you. You think that we don't see when you're as white as a sheet of paper or when you're wheezing and when you almost fall over because you feel so sick, but we do, and it worries us. We see you limping when your feet and ankles are swollen, we see when you wince. We don't want to lose you, Jessie."
"Alex," I stuttered, not knowing what to say. "If it gets any worse, I'll tell somebody, okay? But please, keep it a secret at the moment."
"Does Julien know?"
I hesitated, conflict visible in my expression, before I shook my head.
"I'll tell him, just like I'll tell Nick and dad and Jacob and everyone else, but not yet. I'll tell them before I get my operation. But I need to know that you guys are going to be with me during the storm. People will be angry, I understand that, but that will be when I need you guys more than anything."
"We're with you, Jessie. Just look after yourself more, okay? Take it easy in England this week. Enjoy the time with your dad."
"I will, Alex. And don't worry, I'll be back in Monaco after Texas. God, we're going to Texas after Mexico. That's so fucking cool!"
"I know! Although, you can't drink. The legal drinking age is 21."
"I can't have alcohol anyway, idiot," I laughed, nudging him.
"Gives you a good excuse to the others, doesn't it?"
"It sure does."

"Dad!" I screamed. "I didn't know that you were meeting me at the airport!"
"I thought I'd surprise you, love. Come here," he said, enveloping me in his arms.
"I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, darlin'. How was Japan? Here, let me take that suitcase."
"It was good. We did the usual thing of going out for dinner and we went to a Sushi Bar. Of course, Lando doesn't like fish, so we have loads of videos of him gagging at the sight of the fish and scrunching up in his chair to get as far away from them as possible," I giggled, recalling the memory.
"Oh, yes, I saw those videos on your Instagram. They were en-half funny, you know. They were on Charles' and Carlos' as well."
"Yeah. Ted almost bullied Lando when he was doing the notebook show, it was so funny to watch."
"I bet it was. How's Monaco? How's the loverboy?"
"He's not a loverboy, he's just my boyfriend-"
"When am I meeting him?"
"I don't know, dad. Honestly, my schedule is pretty packed. I have Mexico next and then the USA after that, and then there's training for Brazil and then it's the last race of the season. It's all a bit hectic at the moment. Next season will be worse, because I'm out of a contract next season and I don't know whether I'll get it with Toro Rosso, or as it will be called next season, AlphaTauri, or if Red Bull might take me or if there's a chance for me to go to another team like McLaren or Ferrari. Silly season is going to be chaos because most other drivers are out of a contract as well. I just, there's so much to do, dad, and Julien and I have our own lives and I'll try and get him down here but I just don't know when that's going to be. Maybe after New Year's or something, or you can fly up to Monaco and spend Christmas and New Year's with me and the other drivers."
"That'll be nice, Jessie, love," my dad said, starting the car. "What's your schedule for this week, then?"
"Mostly training, I'm afraid. But we can go down the pub for a few pints, if you want?" I said, kicking myself immediately after for forgetting that I can't drink.
"Sounds like a good plan. I'll call up Trevor and Rob when we get home, they're always asking how you are."
"Sounds good."