Gem and I

Depression is a bitch

Z's pov - 2 weeks later

(If its in bold its a delusion talking) (Also long ass sad chapter ahead)

I shake the empty bottle of liquor disappointedly, "Fuck. I'm out again." 

I stumble down the stairs heading over to my fridge quickly rummaging threw it trying to find anything to ease my pain.

"What are you doing?"

"Leave me alone!" I slam the fridge door shut.

"You pushed someone else away. Is it because you miss me?"

" I don't miss you, bastard."

"Why not? I'm the only one that understands you."

"You don't understand anything about me!"

"Of course I do. I had you when you were a child. I'm the one that molded you into the boy you are today."

"That's not true! I'm better than what you tried to turn me into."

"Think about it. You don't have basic emotion because I taught you they were useless. You don't have empathy because I made you kill over and over again until you no longer shed a tear. Pain barely affects you because I made you have a high tolerance. You don't smile, laugh, cry because I taught you those were nothing but a temporary emotion. Finally, you cannot love anyone because I made you believe that you belong to me and me only and that anyone else would use you and throw you away."

(Even as a delusion he knows how to fuck with her.)

The words he says stabs at her heart tears sliding down her face, "Master? Why does no one love me?"

"They don't deserve your talent. Come back to me and I'll take care of you. I'll make you even stronger than you are now."

"But I don't want to be stronger. I want someone to care about me, truly."

"I only cared about you because you were strong. Without that you are useless."

"But all the things that made me strong......hurt. I don't know-?"

(He's about to do a big 360)

"Do you want to be fucking useless?!" he says loudly it echoing in my head.

"No but-"

"What I did was the bare minimum  of what I could have put you threw!"

She looks at him bewildered,  "You tortured me. You pulled out my teeth and broke my bones. You held me under water until I couldn't breathe. You whipped the bottom of my feet so I couldn't run away. You made me sleep near your feet and only gave me your scraps to eat. You kept me in a collar with a chain and called me your pet. You put me in solitary for weeks sometimes months at a time. The only time you showed you cared is when your other guards or clients took interest in me."

"Because your mine. Your soul, mind and especially body belonged to me.

"Did you love me at all?!"

"No."

I hated the way my heart ached in my chest hearing those words.

"Can I give you some advice?"

I sloppily shrug my shoulder,

"No one cares about you or even likes you. Your no longer  useful to me because you've become weak. No one loves you and your are incapable of love. Your a living waste of space. So just give up. You've been thinking about for the last week anyway.