Gem and I

There's a first time for everything

Z's pov but mostly 3rd pov

I woke up in agonizing pain feeling dizzy and nauseous. I look around seeing that I'm in a hospital hooked up to several machines with gemini resting next to my bed. Wait? Gemini?!

Don't tell me he's the one that found me.

I push the nurse button and he's there within a couple of seconds,

"Oh good your awake."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"4 days."

She looks at gemini, "How long has he been here?"

"All 4 days he hasn't left your side. He's actually the one that found you and kept you alive long enough for the ambulance to arrive."

Her heart aches at the very thought of the way he found her. She didn't mean to traumatize him like that. She just wanted to be free and she hoped her body was never found for that very reason,

"Has anyone else stopped by?"

"No ma'am."

Of course.

"Do you have some spare scrubs he can wear?"

"Yes I'll get some for you. But what about you? Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ma'am your in here because you attempted suicide. So I'm asking are you okay mentally. Do you feel the urge to do it again?"

"I'm fine. I just wanna rest."

She keeps her response short not really having the urge to talk. She actually doesn't want to say a word.

"Okay. I'll get those clothes for you."

Truthfully Marzanna didn't think she'd live threw this so when he asked those questions she didn't have an answer. She couldn't even tell how she felt.

She stared at Gemini as he slept in the uncomfortable chairs thinking about how much she fucked up. Pushing people away had become so natural that she did it to the wrong person. 

"I fucking hate myself." She thinks.

When he wakes up how would she even start, "Yeah, my bad for having you find me in the bathroom 75% dead."

She goes to google because it always has the answers no matter what the problem,

"What to do if you mess up a relationship." she searches, 

Sincerely apologize was the first answer to show. "Like what? Say I'm sorry?' she thinks. 

"I haven't done that in 8 years and no not because I'm asshole. But because I was taught not to. I was taught that saying it was useless and that it got you nowhere. And he was right, saying it did not give me mercy. Hell, it didn't even give me a look of sympathy." But what if this is what I need to do to stop being the monster he made me. What if this is the first step?" She ponders,

"Oh my god! Your awake!"

She snaps out off her head focusing on the relieved faced Gemini,

"Do you want me to get the nurse?"

She nods her head no.

"I'm so happy your okay."

He's so nice.

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

Even after everything I said he's still here. He's asking me do I need something when I don't deserve nothing from him.