"That's it?" The way her voice cracked caused my heart to sink into the pit of my stomach. "Oh my gosh." Her eyes were glossed over as she stared blankly at the house in front of us.
It was cute- definitely not like the huge homes we were used to at that point in our lives, but it was still nice, even if it was located in a pretty rough part of town.
"W-we can go grab lunch first?" I was at a loss for words... I really, seriously was and that didn't happen too often.
She sank down in her seat, sliding her sunglasses over her eyes to shield the tears. "I just need a minute." She whispered as she held up her hand to silently assure me that she was okay.
Stevie was tough- she still is, but I didn't actually realize it then just how amazing she was at times.
It took a lot to be able to do that... I would have ran the other way, pretended like I had never found anything and kept moving forward in life. But I think she knew, deep down that something was waiting for her there.
"You're a strong woman." I reminded her, a soft nod following my words.
The thing is, I always knew a little more then I was letting on... Stevie knows everything now, so it's not really a big secret anymore, but at the time, I wouldn't have dared say a word to her.
She thought Ben was a really great guy and don't get me wrong, he was... to a certain point. He was a good provider, a good dad, let Stevie do whatever she wanted, and even supported the band, but that didn't mean he was ever that devoted.
He had never been faithful to her, not from the moment they'd gotten married. And I'm not talking bad about him, I'm really not- I'm just being honest.
"I think I'm ready." She announced after a really long silence had washed over us.
"I can st-" I was getting ready to tell her that if she would rather me wait out in the car, that was totally fine... even though I wasn't actually too keen on letting her go in there all alone.
"No, I want you to come with me." Stevie's voice had shifted- it kind of sounded like a child... scared and maybe even a little lost.
"Y-yeah, of course." I reached behind the seat, pulling out the umbrella she'd gotten at a gas station in Texas.
It was pouring that day- the hurricane that had swooped through the southern part of the country was just starting to clear up, but with it sent rain north.
It was so weird, it really was. It just felt gloomy and sad... I hated it there.
"Watch your step." I was standing right outside the passenger side door, holding the umbrella for her as she carefully stepped out onto the wet pavement.
"Am I crazy?" She slipped her arm in mine, staying close to shield herself from the rain.
Sliding one hand into my pocket, I shook my head lightly. "I don't think you're crazy at all." I didn't, not for a single second did I feel like she wasn't doing the right thing.
Sure, most people probably wouldn't have made that trip, but she had never been like most people. She was Stevie and for some reason, that felt like explanation enough.
~S~
I brought my hand up to the door slowly, mind racing as I gently knocked a couple of times on the wood.
I was so anxious, I don't even remember what the outside looked like... I know that there were a couple of potted plants on the front patio and little windmills spinning from the crazy wind that the rain had brought with it. But other than that, I just remember standing there, totally frozen in time.
The sound of the lock turning on the other side of the door is what really brought me back into reality.
And when it opened, my heart totally sank into the pit of my stomach.
There she was. There was the woman that I couldn't get out of my head, standing right in front of me.
That afternoon, she was wearing a pair of jeans, and a crew neck as her long blond hair stayed pulled up into a scrunchie.
Janette was gorgeous, very much so. But we were so opposite- I didn't even have to personally know her to know that.
"Stevie....?" She knew who I was and for some reason, I really wasn't under the impression that it was because she was a fan. "What are you doing here?" Janette had to have known something was wrong... or maybe she thought I'd found out about their affair- I really don't know.
All I knew was that suddenly, I felt weak in the knees. I thought I was going to pass out, or fall over. "I- I..." I kind of stuttered over my words for a moment as my eyes stayed locked with hers.
I didn't know what I was doing there, and the embarrassment was really starting to set in.
"He's gone, isn't he?" Her eyes were so soft- I knew she cared... I knew she loved him, too.
"I'm sorry." I remember thinking how dumb that was when people said that, but in that moment, that's all I could conjure up.
I was sorry that she had also lost my husband... weird, I know.
And then, right before she got ready to reply, there was this little voice that came from behind her that caused us both to just totally freeze.
"Mama?" She peeked out from behind her leg, deep blue eyes melting into mine instantly.
She had the curliest blonde hair, the sweetest little smile and the chubbiest cheeks ever... She was perfect.
"Oh..." I looked from that precious baby, back towards Janette.
I knew. I knew by the look in her eyes that she was his daughter.
It grew quiet for a moment, both of us realizing that it was over... The wife had found out.
"You can come inside." Janette pulled open the door a little further, welcoming Lindsey and I into her home.
It was small, but sweet. I felt like there were a lot of great, great memories stored into that home... It was warm, but so different compared to life Lindsey and I were used to at the time.
I remember that there was this lingering scent of vanilla circling the air in the living room and there were a ton of baby toys scattered around- that little girl looked so happy. And cartoons were playing on the television set, while that sweet little blonde sang along.
"What's your name?" I slowly bent down, a very gentle smile trailing across my face.
She was magic- I could tell instantly.
"Caroline..." she had the softest little voice- it made my heart melt the first time I heard it.
With tears in my eyes, I watched her trail towards me. "That is such a great name." I whispered, trying hard not to make it obvious just emotional I had gotten.
"Are you sad?" Caroline asked as she wrapped one arm around my shoulders.
Giggling softly, I shook my head. "No, I'm happy." And that was the truth.
For some reason, even though I had just driven across the country to meet the woman my husband had an affair with, I really did feel happy...
I knew, in that very moment that I was supposed to meet Caroline.
