𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗼𝘀 ! ఌ 𝗲𝗻𝗵𝘆𝗽𝗲𝗻 !

【💌】。twelve ☆

✦͙͙͙*͙* ❥⃝∗ ⁎. ʚɞ .⁎ ∗❥⃝ **͙✦͙͙͙

SUHYE COLLAPSED ONTO HER BED. She held her phone and a certain letter to her chest. The window was open to cool her burning skin, the slightest of background noise seeping into her bedroom. Clad in a specific someone's scarf, she carefully pulled the letter out of the light blue envelope. She was quite afraid of what she would find.

Yes, of course she had read the letters countless times, but she needed to know exactly what Park Sunghoon had read. She had to calm herself down. Assure herself that maybe the situation wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Maybe the letter had just said that she had a silly crush on him because of one simple moment that had happened forever ago. She could explain that. Though she knew it wasn't just going to be that. She wouldn't have written the letter otherwise.

The detailed stationary made her smile - a gift from one of her mother's business trips. Though her parents weren't as present as she wanted them to be, she appreciated the little postcards, school supplies or skincare products they'd go out of their way to get her. She was satisfied with that. The only slightest bit of envy sparked whenever she saw what her sister was given: expensive ballet shoes, jewellery, handmade dolls. Although those weren't where her passions laid, she wished her passions would be acknowledged. But, while she was meant to be stable job-wise, her sister got to pursue whatever she wanted.

The girl shook her head, why was she thinking about that then? She had something more important to have her thoughts yell about. Her eyes fell upon her clean lettering addressed to Sunghoon.

Dear Park Sunghoon,

I remember the first time I saw you. Do you remember that day as well? You had that awful neon t-shirt on - a great way to make an impression on the first day of fourth grade. But, the way you held yourself (especially for someone coming to a new school) was so... elegant? Respectable? I'm not really sure, we were in fourth grade so... I mean, you weren't like Jay: highly-confident, perhaps a bit hot-headed... I don't mean to compare the two of you though! I'm just lacking the right words. I wonder what you thought of me that day - I know, it's kind of dumb, but you did compliment my light up shoes that day.

I remember the first time I saw you skate as well. Jay had tugged me along one day, we were in fifth grade then. I was - well - amazed, though you did fall a few times. But, you got up as fast as you fell! And when you got off the ice, you exclaimed to Jay and I how you were going to be the best ice skater in South Korea, or maybe even the world.

Sunghoon, you're always so sure. How do you do it? You know what you want to do in the future, your goals, dreams. And you're so sure that you'll achieve them, you have such surety behind your words and opinions, you can say what you mean to so easily (at least with friends). I wish I could be like that.

Do you remember that one stupid day near the end of fifth grade? I kind of wish that you don't remember. I mean you probably don't, it was forever ago. That day when Jay(?) suggested that dumb game: kissing tag.

Suhye paused her reading. Oh, she could not read anymore. She closed her eyes only for them to shoot right back open: THE Park Sunghoon had read this letter, oh! And he probably read it multiple times. Suhye wished she could sink further into her mattress until she couldn't come back out.

The girl couldn't possibly think of a way she could explain this. I mean, how does one recover from confessing and articulating exactly why they like someone? Especially when she had not meant for him to read it, at least at that time.