Talk To Me

52. Hard to breathe

I never minded Uncle Frank's fondness for Kind or the way his parents welcomed me, but every time they made him happy in ways I couldn't, it got to me. I could accept it... but then high school came, and I started noticing how everyone flocked to him.

It drove me mad. I wanted to pull him away from everyone, to claim him as mine alone. But I stayed quiet. Kind just had this magnetic pull, and who was I to come between him and the people he charmed so easily? I tried to keep my distance, but he kept introducing me to his friends. Didn't he understand? I didn't need anyone else. I only wanted him.

That's when it began... this relentless need to have him all to myself.

With each new friend he made, I felt this growing anxiety, like he'd slip through my fingers. But then his friends became my friends, too. I found myself drawn into his world, like if he trusted them, then I could trust them to not take him from me.

College only made him more popular. My insecurities kept me on edge, so I dated a string of people just to get his attention. But instead of noticing me, he avoided me even more.

By the time we hit college, I'd broken more hearts than I could count, but with every relationship, my thoughts were all on him. Who was he with? Who was trying to replace me in his life? I needed him to crave me just as much.

So I told Frank to keep tabs on him. But Kind figured it out. He got furious, and I had to promise never to do it again. I kept that promise... but only because I didn't need anyone else to keep an eye on him. I'd do it myself. Same major, same classes. I was going to make sure he couldn't escape.

Only, he did.

College only expanded his circle. But this time, I handled it differently. I made it clear: anyone wanting to be close to Kind would have to pass through me first. My obsession with him cost me three relationships within the first year, but how could they understand? Kind was everything. He was my anchor, my reason to live and breathe. When Cherry confessed her feelings, I thought, here's my chance. He'd never dated anyone, so why would he start now?

It was my biggest mistake, pushing him toward someone else. He was mine all along, but I couldn't see it. Every time he drifted toward other people, I burned with jealousy. I wanted him all to myself, but he just kept drawing in more and more people.

There were times I almost demanded to know who he was with, but he insisted I respect his privacy. And I did, because I'd do anything for him, just to stay close. I'd have kept dating Cherry if he asked, I'd have done anything to keep him from slipping away.

All I wanted was for him to need me as much as I needed him.

Eventually, I accepted that Kind would always be adored by others. But I'd be the one who adored him most. The night his friends called me to pick him up, I was angry that he only needed me in moments like that. But when he confessed his feelings, even in his drunken state, I knew he'd never leave me.

From that moment on, he was mine.

Every time he looked at me, I'd hold my breath, waiting for him to say it while sober. I watched him, refusing to let him drift away again. I'd made him promise he'd never leave me, and I knew he'd be bound by it.

I was wrapped around his finger, but I needed him just as ensnared by me.

The way he'd disappear for two weeks and think I wouldn't notice... It hurt. I could sense his absence in seconds. But I couldn't let him go now, especially after Todo finally brought him back to me.

I'd realized my feelings too late, but my desire for him grew deeper every day. I'd punish him for hiding his feelings, for pushing me toward Cherry. Why hadn't he just kept me all along? Why insist I marry her when he loved me?

I was done pretending.

I remember that night he was drugged. As I held him, I realized there was no denying it—I wanted him. I'd wanted him for longer than I knew. When he disappeared, it shattered me, but my need for him only solidified. There was no future without him.

If it meant giving up Kai to be with him, I'd do it without hesitation. Kai would always be in my life in some way, but Kind came first. I'd give her up if it meant keeping him by my side.

"Bunny, it's me." I don't know why I felt the need to say it, but I was filled with anxiety.

"Obviously, dummy. I have your number."

Hearing him call me that, hearing his voice...it was enough. I missed him in ways I couldn't explain.

"When are you coming back? I need you here. I haven't done anything since you left..."

"Eh! Stop! I thought this was serious. I'm at work!"

I heard him whisper, but I could tell he was annoyed. I wasn't joking, though. I just missed him.

"I mean it, Bunny. It's been five days, and you said it would only be two."

"Couldn't you have just texted?"

"You haven't answered any of my messages since you left."

"Why are you counting, you dummy? Do whatever you want—I don't care. Just don't call me unless it's about Kai."

"She's asleep, and the nanny has her. I'm in our room... I even wore the bunny ears and tail you told me to wear..."

"I'm hanging up."

"Wait, don't." I didn't want him to hang up. Listening to him was the only thing keeping me sane.

"I... I've made my decision about Kai," I finally admitted, afraid of what he'd say.

"I'm giving her up."

"What are you even saying? Are you out of your mind? You'd give her to Cherry? She left! How stupid are you, Wale?"

He forgot he was at work and raised his voice. I couldn't blame him, but I meant what I said. I needed him in my life, and I'd give up my dream of being a father if it meant he'd stay.

"Wale...are you crying?"

I didn't realize I was. Only then did I feel the tears streaming down, the tightness in my throat. I'd never wanted him to hear me like this.

"Wale..."

He kept calling my name, trying to pull me back. I wanted to say I was fine, but the truth was, I wasn't. I could barely breathe without him. Just knowing he was there was the only thing keeping me from breaking down completely.

"I'm coming...just hold on, Wale."

"Don't hang up..." I wanted to say, but my voice barely came out.

"What? Wale... Todo's driving us over. Stay on the line, okay?"

This was the first time I'd let him see me like this, vulnerable. I just needed to hear his voice. His quiet strength kept me grounded, giving me hope. And if he still refused to date me, I'd do whatever it took to keep him close.

My phone still pressed to my ear, I glanced at my reflection. Kind had told me to wear the bunny ears every night until he returned. It had been five days, but I kept doing it. I'd do anything he asked.

"...why aren't you here yet...K?"

"I'm here...open the door."

"It's open."