Talk To Me

51. Fire in The Mountain

"Did you see the look on their faces? Your dad was so happy to finally hold Kai, and your mom couldn't put her down," Wale said with a grin. Kind's parents had been asking to see the baby for a month, but Wale had asked them to wait until everything with Cherry was settled.

"Now that Cherry's gone, I'll bring Kai over to them more often...though, I'm still surprised at how picky this little one's become. How is it that she's bonded with everyone but us—even the nanny?"

"Well, she hadn't seen me until now, so it's only natural she'd be a little spooked by me..."

"Still, you're always great with kids. I don't get it; she cries the minute she sees either of us or her nanny."

"Maybe Cherry hated us both while she was pregnant..." Kind replied absently, focusing on the road as he drove Wale home. Wale looked more exhausted than usual, so Kind had offered to drive.

He didn't want to drag the conversation further. They had a two-hour drive back, and Kind couldn't deny he was relieved to have finally seen Kai, even if he didn't get much time with her. Maybe that was why she hadn't warmed up to him.

He glanced over at Wale, who'd fallen asleep, wondering why Todo had suddenly left after giving him a week off. Did he have urgent business? They'd originally planned just a night at Wale's, but Todo had stayed an extra day. No doubt Wale had something to do with it; he'd been incredibly passionate these last four days. Kind glanced again at his sleeping face, baffled at where Wale hid all that stamina; his back still ached.

When they finally arrived, Wale stirred awake and looked over at him.

"Let's go inside. We need to talk now that there aren't any distractions," Kind said, heading straight inside with Wale following, looking tired and bleary-eyed.

"So...what did you want to talk about?" Wale asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You've been asking me to date you, and I wanted to tell you my decision and the reasons behind it..." Kind took a breath. "I don't think we should date."

Wale was instantly alert, staring at Kind, his heart sinking. He decided to stay quiet and listen, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"You have to understand—I never thought I'd have kids, never imagined us dating, and now things are different. I want to be with you, but the responsibility of a child is massive. Who am I to Kai? Her dad? That's your role—you chose it. And if we're together, it'll complicate things for her...this is all new to me, and it feels...heavy.

You've always wanted a family, Wale. I just wanted you."

"So...what am I supposed to do? Abandon Kai? Put her up for adoption?"

"That's not what I'm saying—"

"Then what are you saying, K? You won't date me if I raise Kai? Because that's what it sounds like."

Wale's usual calm was gone. Lack of sleep had him on edge. He sighed and looked away.

"...I'd planned out what to say, the perfect words, but here I am, stuttering, like I'm not even sure about it myself." Kind stood up, pacing. "It feels like you're pushing Kai on me..."

"What?" Wale's face went blank, though Kind could see his words had cut deep. "So you've been planning to tell me all this time, but I don't know if I even want to talk about this anymore, K."

"You know me, Wale, so why did you try to attach me to Kai by naming her after me?"

"Cherry wanted it."

"She did it to spite me, and you know it. She didn't care about Kai, so why are you raising a child that isn't yours?"

"Because I always wanted a family! One that included you..." Wale stopped, realizing he'd raised his voice. The fear of Kind leaving him suddenly gripped him.

"Look, Wale, I'm not saying you should leave Kai. I just...never thought of myself as a parent. When I realized I was gay, I accepted I wouldn't have kids. I never considered adoption either. And I've loved you for so long, but I never imagined us raising a child together. You've always had a plan, always known what you wanted. I'm just starting my career, one I actually enjoy, and I don't feel ready for the responsibility of a child. I can barely support myself."

"So, this is what's been on your mind?" Wale asked, sounding worn down. Part of him feared Kind was falling out of love and looking for an excuse to leave, but he quickly dismissed the thought; that wasn't like him. Then, it struck him—Kind had never said he loved him, except during their most intimate moments.

"Do you...do you not love me anymore?"

"This isn't about that, Wale..."

"Then what is it about? Spell it out so I understand." Wale's patience finally snapped.

"You always push things onto me, assuming I'll go along with whatever you want. It's exhausting. I've lost count of the friends I've lost because of you—how many of my relationships ended because you couldn't stand me being close to another man. Now, you want me to date you because you want it. You want a child and just assume I'll agree without asking me first. You decide we'll live here, in this mansion. You'll feed me, clothe me, lock me up for yourself, even control how we have sex. If I ran away, you'd chase after me because you can.

Wale, I need to build my life too. I can't depend on you forever. I'm a man, and I have my own pride. We've had this talk before, but you never listen. I'm drawing the line here, especially since there's an innocent child involved. You're a father now; you can't keep making decisions as if you're alone."

"What do you want, K? Tell me, and I'll do it...just don't ask me to stop hoping for a future with you. You gave me that hope."

"I'm not responsible for your choices, Wale. And I'm not saying I'm leaving you. I don't want to argue, so let's just leave it here." Kind's frustration grew. This was going nowhere, and dealing with an exhausted, emotional Wale was only making things worse.

"K, I like you...the last few months have been the best of my life. I wonder if I always felt this way about you because every time you distanced yourself, I felt...lost." Wale quickly closed the space between them, desperate to hold Kind close.

"You have family, K. Parents, Frank—you have people who look after you, and, honestly, I hate that you attract so many people who want to protect you. It drives me crazy when someone else tries to fill that role. It's my job to look out for you, Bunny."

He pulled Kind into his arms, his voice shaking. "You smile so bright when you're with Swalha, with Todo. You'd do anything to see Cherry happy. Everyone wants to be around you, to be close to you. Just be kind to me, only smile for me...love no one but me, K Bunny."

"Possessive, desperate, and selfish," Kind replied, gently pushing Wale back. "I can't grant any of those crazy demands. And how can you be so blind? You have people who care about you too. If anything happened to you, so many would risk everything to keep you safe. Todo and his mother, Frank, my parents—they consider you a son. You act like you're alone, that no one's got your back."

Wale's shoulders relaxed, a little smile forming. "Alright, K. I'll be less possessive, less selfish. I'll do better...for you."

"Not just for me, dummy, but for everyone else too."

Wale chuckled, feeling a bit of relief. He almost wanted to scoop Kind up, carry him to his room, and make love to him until he couldn't stand, like the past four nights. Or maybe he'd save that for tonight, seeing as Todo had granted Kind a week of rest. Not that Kind had gotten much of it.

Letting anyone else in on his fears? That was never going to happen. Kind was the only one he'd ever allow close enough to see that side of him.

"Todo sent over some gifts two days ago. I've been meaning to try them out."

Did Todo actually gift Wale something? It was hard to believe, considering how much Wale teased him.

"Now, I have to see this. I'm betting whatever it is, it was meant for me, and you just assumed it was yours. They're probably toys for Kai."

"You might be right, K," Wale said with a smile. "Maybe they aren't for me after all."

"Finally, you're smiling. About time, too."

"That's because I have a reason." He gave Kind a quick kiss. "Let's go check them out."