Remind Me To Forget (L.S.) ✔️

Chapter 32

Silence. Cold, maddening silence.

Louis didn't say a single word; not when the ambulance arrived, not when they took care of Harry at the hospital, not even when someone directly asked him. The constant grip on his throat and stomach didn't let him breathe either - ever since he's seen the love of his life sitting on the ground as broken as never before, he felt like he could suffocate at any moment.

As the doctors checked if there was any signs of concussion of the brain, two police officers talked to Louis and Zayn, forcing him to speak after all. They couldn't tell much anyway, they arrived too late to see anyone there.

Minutes later the doctors allowed the officers to ask Harry about what happened and although he still felt dizzy, he was able to identify two of the attackers after Zayn showed him a picture of their football team.

The atmosphere in the car during the ride to the older boys' house was so tense, a knife could of cut through the thick air. The doctors specifically advised Harry to stay for one night at the hospital so they could watch out for him, but he politely refused to do so. He couldn't stay, the place triggered something in him that felt like it would lead to chains of panic attacks. He wanted to go back to the dorm, let the painkillers win and just sleep for the next ten hours, but Zayn convinced him to rest at their place instead, since it seemed a safer choice.

"Would you come here...?" Harry couldn't help, but break the killing silence after he sat down on the bed of his boyfriend. He hasn't talked to him ever since this madness has started, sending the young artist into circles of intrusive thoughts.

Louis pushed himself away from the doorframe and slowly made his way to the bed. His whole demeanor was robotic and emotionless; he was there, he talked if it was needed, but it was nothing more than the programmed modes.

Harry tried to ignore the mean voices in his head that kept whispering it was his fault and now he lost Louis too as he became a burden again. He reached out to him instead and waited for the other to hold the shaking hand.

Louis hesitated for a second, then intertwined their fingers and settled down next to him. He held him, but it didn't feel like he wanted to and the younger one also sensed that.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered in the end as he changed his mind, then let go of him and laid down on the mattress. He pulled the blanket closer and turned his back to him, not caring about that he was still wearing a pair of uncomfortable jeans.

The words affected the other as a punch in the face, dragging him out of the depressed bubble. He frowned and cleared his throat to finally talk to the boy who didn't deserve to suffer anymore.

"You're sor- for what?" he asked in confusion, then gently placed his hand on his arm to attract his attention. "For what, sunshine?"

Feeling his touch was enough to lose it. The younger boy sat up, but as soon as he glanced at him, Louis looked away.

" 'm sorry," Harry repeated the words, shaking from the withheld emotions. "I'm so sorry I couldn't defend myself, I'm so sorry the police got involved and I'm so sorry I got you in trouble, because all you've ever wanted was staying away from the spotlight, but now it's gonna be the biggest thing at the university... I really do, but being mad at me when I need you won't help. I- I can't change it now and- "

Suddenly Louis shushed him by pressing his lips against his. The other couldn't see it, but he squeezed his eyes shut and a slight pain flashed through the older boy's features as he was kissing him. When he thought the events of the night couldn't cause more ache, it turned out Harry was convinced it was his fault.

"Don't be silly..." Louis whispered after a few seconds, but didn't open his eyes yet. "...I love you."

The sign of astonishment which happened to be a trembling sigh slipped out of his mouth. A part of him screamed Louis only said the words cause he knew that's what he would want to hear, but a stronger, dominant part of him took it as it was, and tried to convince him that it was only the truth.