Remind Me To Forget (L.S.) ✔️

Chapter 35

Louis used to think the lights were for him. Everyone pulled out the old box from the garage, fumbled for the wreathe of lights while huffing about who packed it like that last year, then put them up to celebrate the birth of a little, hopeful child.
As the years passed the realization of the cruel reality hit in and the small boy started to lose part of himself - suddenly he found out the world doesn't want him the way he was and the lights only reminded him that he wasn't even special. Of course he kept celebrating his birthday like every other normal person, but he wished for the same thing in every year when he blew the candles: he was wondering if he could ever get the chance to return to his long lost, hopeful inner child.
When things were easy.
When he felt great in his skin.
When he was allowed to be who he was.

Louis put down the plate of cake on the bedside table and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. The celebration of his birthday with his family went great; it was good to see their smiles, to take silly pictures that nobody wanted to actually participate in and to eat the cake which was made by his mom. The only thing he hated about the 24th of december was the feeling that crawled beneath his skin after he was left alone. It could easily become overwhelming and he couldn't do anything about it but try to drink it down - which was the reason of his usual christmas hangovers.

Suddenly the beginning of 'Do I Wanna Know?' started playing on his phone and Louis' features immediately crinkled to a relieved expression. The sound of Arctic Monkeys could only mean one thing and he happily answered the call.

"Hey Haz."

"Happy birthday to youuu..." he started singing, ignored the soft laugh of the other and finished the song a few seconds later.

"Thanks..." the older one shook his head with the same foolish smile on his face. "Great timing, I just ended the call with Hailey like a minute ago."

"Oh I would of called earlier too, but Ryan came over, so..." Harry replied without missing a beat and all of a sudden this game wasn't even fun for Louis anymore.

"Awesome, now I must kill someone on my birthday," he rolled his eyes, leaning against the header of the bed. "But seriously, have you talked to him since the trip?"

"We texted a couple times," Harry admitted it, smiling about the slightly jealous tone. "But he hasn't been as nice to me as he was before you unnecessarily dragged him on that night at the gallery's event."

Oh right. Unnecessarily.
That blonde guy looked ready to fuck his boyfriend in the bathroom, but yeah, he had no rights to be jealous and kill him within five minutes of talking.

"See, I was right," Louis shrugged. "He was only trying to get in your pants."

"He never stood a chance," Harry's soft laughter made his heart jump, even tho he just heard it through the phone. "So how's your birthday going?"

"It's fine I guess... I don't really like to celebrate it. And life's just as hard as a 22 years old as it was yesterday."

"You seem upset."

Louis went silent for a moment and let his fingers run through his longish hair. He was actually quite upset; the weight of the email still rested on his shoulders and as much as he loved to be at home, it's been nearly seven days since they've said goodbye. He didn't care about how cringe or lame it seemed, but he missed him. He felt a bit lonely and considering the subject of the email these emotions weren't very reassuring.

"I'm just tired. I love my sisters, but they can be exhausting." he spoke in the end, closing his eyes. He told himself off for not telling the truth, but holding the broken pieces of glass all by himself was better than asking his boy to hold them with him.