Nostalgia

Live On Part 1

Even though yo thuggin days are gone
I still rep yo name
Forever live on.....
-Nuski2Squad: Live On🎶

Kierra

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life and legacy of our brother Tupac Amaru Shakur-....

Those words constantly play back in my head like a broken record. I can remember the day like it was yesterday, sitting in the front row of the packed church feeling completely numb. It was like I was there, but my mind was in a whole other place.

Today makes 6 months, 182 days since I've lost my other half and it feels as fresh as the day that it happened.

I can't believe that I now have to do life without him. The man who I had planned my whole future with is gone and I can't bring him back. He was my heart, my better half, my protector and my best friend. And, I am completely lost without him.

He had the most beautiful, majestic soul. Whenever he walked in a room, he took over the room without even trying. Without having to say a word, his presence demanded your attention.

Although, he had this thug persona, he was the most humble, loving and caring person, who would literally give people the shirt off of his back. He was truly 1 of 1.

One of the hardest pills to swallow in this whole situation is knowing that, our unborn child won't ever get to experience having their father.

That now I have to raise this child alone. Yes, of course I have my family and his mom to help. But, it's not the same as having the person that helped you create this little one, here by your side to help love and pour into them.

Today, is the day that we finally find out the gender. I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant. I could've been found out the gender but, every time, it came time to find out, I changed my mind.

Because, it didn't feel right finding out without him by my side. But, now I've finally built up the courage to find out.

Finally, getting myself together, I threw on a black oversize Tupac shirt, to rep my man. Some spandex shorts and some beige sandals.
I was trying to be as comfortable as I could be knowing that this July weather was no joke.

Especially, for a swollen pregnant woman. After throwing my hair into a bun and applying some lipgloss and mascara, I was finally ready to go.

Grabbing my purse and phone, I headed down stairs.

After, a couple of minutes of waddling down all those steps, I finally made it to the living room where everyone was waiting on me.

Everybody being— My parents, Mama Afeni, my sister Lauren and my best-friend, Lira.
They all decided that they wanted to go with me to my doctors appointment.

I thank god that I've had a true support system to be here with me. Not, only right now but, through this entire nightmare.

"Hey, y'all" I greeted everyone.

They all greeted me back with a smile telling me how beautiful I looked. I can't lie, I don't know how I would've been able to make it thru, without having all their love and support.