I Was First | Joshua Hong

Chapter 20

The whole ride, I just remained quiet. I didn't know what to say, and I couldn't feel the need to. Well, I still feel quite guilty after last night, and if maybe he's mad at me that if ever I'll say one word to him he will just ignore me, for the sake of not being ignored, I didn't talk to him.

It was him, me and Lily at the backseat, Lily was at the middle, and me and him were bother besides the window. Lily was the one who talked with Joshua for almost the whole time we were on the ride, and I was there at the corner listening. But I'm still glad that my younger sister was talking to him, or else the atmosphere there at the backseat would be unbearably awkward.

"Grandma! Hello!!", Lily squealed the moment we got inside grandma's home and saw her there standing at the living room waiting for us.

"Oh my grandkids!", She happily stated as we went closer to where she was, and it wasn't just me and Lily whom she was pertaining to as her grandkids, Joshua was included. Because he would always come with us here, Joshua grew more closer to my family.

"Good morning grandma!", Joshua greeted.

"Hi grandma!", I who was just behind him greeted as well.

I could tell grandma was so happy with us coming for a visit, everytime we do come here, I could feel how welcome we are and how ecstatic she is.

We one by one gave her a peck on the cheeks. But as I hugged her, I felt slightly sad. I still feel sorry for my grandma because he already lost grandpa, and it must've been so lonely still growing old having no one around.

Lily seated herself on the sofa, her eyes on the television, along with Joshua. Mom and Dad were talking to grandma, and I was there standing, looking around the house as I once again familiarized myself with everything around, I memorized every details of the house just by coming her really often, but staring and dazing at the interior was still one of the things that fascinates me when I come here.

"Hiah, come here.", I immediately turned around and faced grandma when I heard her calling for me. She wasn't talking to Mom and Dad anymore, and I reckon I'm the one she's going to talk to this time.

"Yes, grandma?", I went closer to her, and looked at her, waiting for what she's about say.

"How's Joshua?", She asked, and my forehead instantly creased.

"What do you mean, grandma?"

"How's your friendship?"

I was still confused by her questions, but I just answered with a somewhat rational answer. "We're still friends..", I hesitantly said. And she just chuckled.

"No leveling up?"

The very moment grandma uttered those words, I automatically realized what she has been meaning to tell.

"Grandma...", I complained, mostly trying to tell her that she should keep it down since Joshua was around.

My grandma knows everything, and what I mean by everything, she knows that I have a teensy crush on Joshua. I didn't exactly know if I was that obvious, but she lived for a long time not to be oblivious.

I was twelve then, and at that time as well, I already had feelings towards him, and we were here at this very house when I got exposed. If I just held myself then, I wouldn't have to be anxious when I will remember that my grandma knows when she and Joshua are conversing.

[Flashback]

"Grandma, can you give Joshua more?", I was holding my and Joshua's plates, asking for grandma for some chocolate rolls, I already had two on my plate and Joshua's too but I asked for more to be put on Joshua's.