DUALITY /#Wattys 2021

Chapter 37

The first section of track turned out to be unusable after the men finally moved the boulder. Chi solved the problem by boarding the luge in the depression where the rock fell, then pushing it past that point and taking off from there. It made it harder to get in and harder to get the sled going, but it worked well enough for them to do several practice runs with Sannah on board.

The papoose kept Sannah secure no matter how bumpy the ride became, and Ridley's idea of holding her still by swaddling her before putting her into the papoose worked perfectly. The baby screamed all the way down the first two trips, but on the last trip, Ridley never heard a sound from her. Alarmed, she bolted up as soon as the luge came to a stop, and opened the papoose. Sannah's two big round eyes stared back at her like an owl's.

"Sannah! Are you okay, sweetheart? What a good baby!" Ridley held her close and cuddled her, then hoisted herself off the sled so Chi could get up.

He peered over her shoulder at the baby. "Is she all right?"

Ridley glanced up at him. "She's fine."

"Good. Do you feel comfortable with this now? We can make one more run."

Ridley thought perhaps she could use one more trip down, but she knew her daughter must be frightened, quiet though she had been on this last ride. "I think I've got it," she said. "I think I'm going to be okay."

"Be sure," said Chi, his thick dark brows drawing together as he glared down at her.

Ridley nodded once. "I am."

"Good."

Those were the last words Chi said to her all that afternoon and evening. Ridley lingered at the site, holding Sannah up to see the view of the rainbow lake. She knew Sannah would never remember it, but maybe the image, the feeling of it, would remain with her somehow. She couldn't let her baby miss the sight, tiny though she was. They would never come here again.

Chi glanced over at her as she held Sannah, murmuring, "Look at that, baby! Isn't that pretty!" in her ear. Ridley couldn't decipher the look on his face, or in his eyes.

As the six of them tramped the half hour's walk home through the snow, Chi walked up ahead, talking to Reb and the other men, leaving her to bring up the rear, pushing the carriage along on its skis. Once or twice he looked back at her, as if to make sure she and Sannah were all right, but those glances were so cryptic and brief, she could make nothing of them.

Her heart beat a tattoo in her chest, as it had all afternoon. If only Reb hadn't returned when he did! What would the King have said to her next? What she had heard hadn't been a yes, but it definitely hadn't been a no, either.

I have for a long time believed that I was nothing any woman would ever want. The words reverberated through her mind and tore at her heart. How could someone like Chi ever even think such a thing? Chi: so tall, so handsome, so incredibly smart, so talented, so devoted to his kingdom and to Rory, so sweet. How horrible to imagine him living like that—for how many years?

I'm attracted to very few women resounded within her heart, too, over and over. Did that mean he was attracted to her? What else could it mean? Although she couldn't really imagine how that could be. She was so short. The Queen was taller, dark, with arched brows, a fuller figure, a handsome face, and long hair she usually wore in a bun or braids coiled at the back of her head.

And if he really was attracted to Ridley—then what? Could she really have an affair with the married Confederate King? And how would that end?

With her soul in pieces, most likely. Yet the pull in Ridley's heart drew her irresistibly to him.