DUALITY /#Wattys 2021

Chapter 40

Ridley popped awake hours later to the sound of Sannah sobbing. "Ugh," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Alana stirred next to her. "I'll get her."

"No, that's okay, Mom. I've got her." Ridley clambered out of bed and raised the window shade. The gleam of the full moon on the snow lit her way to the crib. Ridley swung her daughter up into her arms, wrapped her little yellow blanket around her, and stumbled out the door on her way to the bathroom.

On the changing table in the bathroom lay a small, thin plastic envelope with her name handwritten on it. She picked it up, lay Sannah down, cleaned the baby, and changed her before she turned her attention to the note.

She sat down on the edge of the tub, holding Sannah perched in her lap, and slid her finger under the glue holding the plastic flap down. "Let's see what this is, baby girl. Somebody left Mommy a letter." 

It had to be Chi. Of course he'd know she'd be changing the baby in here overnight. She extracted the plastic letter flimsy. Neat handwriting slanted down as it ran across the page.

Her heart beat faster as she read.

Ridley,

I hope you can forgive my awkwardness of this afternoon and evening. I haven't been attracted to anyone else since I came to live at Othala, and, as far as I know, no one else has ever been attracted to me. (Well ... there have been a few blatant attempts to curry favor. The girls involved were rather gauche about it, which I found offensive. I don't feel that's the case here at all, and I appreciate that.)

I do believe that after the vote on the Repeal is over, I will need some time by myself. I don't plan to return to Othala, whether Ember ends up going back or not. I need to think some more about what I want the rest of my life to be.

None of that is your fault. You helped illuminate the problems in my marriage and in my life, but you certainly didn't cause any of them. I've had a light shone on my life since you arrived here, and I needed that illumination. And you've been invaluable in helping me to see it was all right for me to have dreams.

I have been able to talk to you in a way I've never been able to talk to anyone. That's a very special thing, and something I thought I'd never have. I treasure the time you've spent with me.

I want you to know that, when you arrive at Othala, I will let you in, and then I plan to spend my time in Rory's quarters until the snow finishes and it will be time to leave. Please don't think I'm avoiding you out of any feeling of dislike or disdain. I've simply determined that I will not cheat on Rory, and anything that may lead to that is something I wish to avoid.

When the raid ends, we most likely will not see one another again. I want you to know that I thank you for your friendship, and you will always be in my heart.

I hope to remain your friend,

Chi.

He loves me! Mom was right! Ridley jounced up and down on the tub rim, clutching Sannah close in her excitement.

Happiness surged through her, and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from whooping with joy. It wasn't hard to read between the lines of that letter.

It didn't matter that he was the King, it didn't matter about Rory, it didn't matter that he was in an impossible situation and would probably never be able to divorce. 

After Simon, Ridley had believed she'd never find someone so wonderful ever again—she certainly didn't believe someone like the King could ever want her.