DUALITY /#Wattys 2021

Chapter 20

Exhausted, Ridley excused herself to shower, and then returned to the kitchen to take Sannah from her mother and put both herself and the baby to bed. She diapered Sannah and put her down in her crib in the small bedroom the three females in the house shared.

All the bedrooms in the cabin lay along hallways that branched off the living room like spokes on a wheel. The King had the largest bedroom; Reb had another, and another was reserved for Popish, who apparently came and went often on business with the King.

Clothes in Ridley's and her mother's sizes already filled the two spacious bureaus in their bedroom: warm outdoor athletic clothes for Ridley and heavy, knit sweaters and dresses for Alana. They even had a small chest of drawers with appropriately-sized tops, dresses, and sleeper pajama sets in pastels for Sannah.

Ridley changed into a warm flannel nightgown, crawled under the blankets, and dropped into an exhausted sleep.

A fog enveloped her, and the eerie sound of her mother's crying reached her ears. Ridley peered around, startled, trying to see through the fog and find her mother. The thought came to her that this sight, this sound felt familiar. This had happened many times before.

"Mom?" she called. "Mommy? Where are you? You're okay, don't cry. Tell me where you are, so I can find you!" Ridley looked down to find herself in her moccasins and her Neighbor garb, on patrol. She knew she was in the woods back home, but the fog gathered too thick to see even the closest trees. Her mother wandered somewhere in the woods, too, but Ridley had no idea why she was crying or which direction to walk to find her.

"Mom! Answer me!" Quit crying and answer me, Ridley thought, but the crying changed pitch and she recognized Sannah's voice.

Her child's piercing cry yanked her from slumber and she understood then, as she always did, that it was the same dream, one she'd had many times before. She couldn't even remember the first time she'd had the dream; only that she'd had it all through her teens, and probably even before then.

She felt like she'd been asleep only ten minutes. The disorientation of the dream made her even more tired than she'd felt crawling into bed. Ridley rolled over and cracked an eye open at the glowing clock on the bedside table: one o'clock in the morning.

Sleep pulled at her and exhaustion muddled her brain. I don't want to get up and deal with her, Ridley thought. Sannah, shut up. She just doesn't want me to get any rest, does she?  Sleep tugged her back into its warm embrace. She rolled over and tried to ignore the crying, hoping her mother would get up instead. But the wailing went on and on.

Finally, Ridley sat up and clicked on the bedside light. Alana had never come to bed. Where is she?  Ridley would have to get up.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, groggy, working her feet into her moccasins. She stood up and stumbled over to the crib.

Sannah stood hanging onto the bars, swaying in and out of a thin ribbon of light created by the just-open door, shaking with cries. Her cheeks flushed crimson. Ridley blinked and looked again. Vomited green pea puree stained the front of her pink sleepsuit. She even had some of it in her hair.

Ridley bit back a swearword. How long would it take her to hold this screaming child under the bathroom faucet and rinse this green puke out of her hair? She looked down at the foot of the crib. A bottle of clens-wipes stood there, but for this job they simply wouldn't be adequate.

Sannah's screams quieted to a soft whimper as Ridley swung her daughter into her arms and trudged through the living room to the bathroom. Light streamed from the kitchen, and Ridley heard two male voices and her mother's laughter. Probably they were having hot chocolate. Alana had exclaimed with delight at finding bars of baker's chocolate and a special blond sugar in the kitchen, and even whipped cream, so she could make the drink. They had all been drinking it every night, she'd said.