DUALITY /#Wattys 2021

Chapter 45

**Note: This chapter makes the novel rated "mature." I wasn't going to put it here, but previous readers felt the story needed "spice." Feedback would be welcome. Would it be better with or without the scene?

Ridley turned, astonished. How could anybody know she had been about to look outside? Was there some mind-reading chip embedded in the wall somewhere? Should she hide in the library?

The door slid open and Chi stood there, his head down, his shoulders bowed. He looked into her eyes as if they were back at the cabin.

"Ridley," he said, a tremor in his voice. Her heart flipped over.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "This is all so difficult. I just didn't know how to act, or what to say to you."

She took a step forward. "I just didn't know how to act, or what to say to you. And after you left me the letter ... I thought ... I thought ..."

Chi put his palm up as if to ward her off. "If we're going to talk, you can't come over here. I think we need a 'no physical contact rule.'"

No physical contact. That sounded hopeful. If he didn't want her, why would they need that? Ridley nodded once. "Okay."

"Ridley ..." Chi said, and stopped.

She waited, her heart pounding in her ears with an odd rushing noise.

"I love you," said Chi. "That's the truth. I just want you to know that. I've danced around my feelings, and it's gutless of me and not fair to you." He started to lower his palm, then put it back up again. "I don't want you to say anything. I don't want you to do anything. I just want you to know the truth."

Ridley took another step forward, propelled by happiness. Her whole heart soared across the room to him, although she willed her feet to stay glued to the floor. "Oh, Chi. You have to know I love you, too." Her arms stretched toward him of their own volition.

He glanced at the floor and shook his head. "I tried to avoid engaging this at all, but I saw your face all day, and I just—" His gaze met hers again. "I'm sorry."

Ridley crept forward another step. "Chi, that's—" She swallowed. "That's nothing to be sorry about."

He took a step forward, and her pulse throbbed in response. His palm flattened, lowered, stretched out toward her as if he were beckoning her, and then dropped to his side. "You know the position I'm in. I can offer you nothing. I held this back for fear of hurting you. But you deserve to know."

The warmth of the dying fire seeped into Ridley's bones. She took in the sight of him—her King—leaning forward, his shoulders curving toward her, one foot forward in another step closer, and willed her mind never to forget anything about this night. I will remember this forever.

Finally she said, "Can we at least sit down?"

"Yes. But we are not  using the couch."

Ridley smiled. She hurried back to the chair she had eaten dinner in and sat.

Chi joined her on the other side of the table.

"How do you put this table back, anyway?"

"I'll show you later." He looked down at the polished wood. "I wanted to order you a bottle of good wine with the spaghetti. I just didn't trust myself."

Joy hit Ridley at that revelation. She couldn't stop smiling. She turned in the chair, basking in the glow of her happiness like a warm, contented cat, and slid her feet up under her. "Why did you think it would hurt me to say you were in love with me? If you thought it was hurting me not to say it?"