All the young dudes

Chapter 8: slaughter on the 10th Avenue

***

Dear Andromeda,

I don't think you've been getting these, so I don't know why I'm still sending them. I suppose I'm in the habit of it now.

Things are normal here. I lit Snape on fire during Potions today. It wasn't my idea— James had done it twenty minutes earlier— but it's always fun making the slimy git squeal like a little girl. We didn't even get detention for it! We're already rather booked for this week, detention-wise. We got three days for starting a dueling club in the boy's bathroom and the day after that is either for making Stebbins sneeze glue or Aubrey's head swell up, can't remember which.

Something's up with Regulus.

James has got a puffskein now, I forgot to tell you that. Her name's Carlos. James has got a puffskein and Remus has got a girlfriend. Her name's Jeanette.

How was your Christmas? I wonder what holidays are like wherever you are, far enough away that the owls can't find you. Mine was right boring. The family party was at Uncle Alphard's which would've been cool if I'd gotten to talk to him at all, but I didn't. Great Aunt Petrinella chewed my ear off the whole time about how the birds are getting to her dirigible plums. Don't think she remembered who I was.

My hand's cramping.

I know right well that wherever you are these letters aren't getting to you. Reckon I can write whatever I feel like. Something's really wrong with Regulus and I didn't tell my friends all of it because it's not like I care what happens to him because he's one of them now, so why would I care? He's up to something and I can't stop thinking about it.

I wish I was better at deciding what I think about. I think about so many things I wish I didn't. When I'm not thinking about Regulus I'm thinking about Remus and it's in quite a different way entirely and it's only getting worse. I feel like a pervert. I am a pervert, I suppose. I feel totally helpless, I can't make it stop, it runs me over every single day and I can't do anything about it. My brain won't leave him alone.

My hand's cramping again. Will take a break.

Jeanette's very nice. She's Lily's best friend (besides Snivellus, anyway), so you know she's alright. I do like her a lot, she's very clever and very kind and uses a lot of big words. The perfect girl for him, I reckon. I'm clever and I know big words but I'm not kind at all. Remus is the kindest person in the world.

I won't send this letter. Miss you loads.

Talk to you soon,

Sirius

***

"Oh, it's a map," Remus says.

April came in bright and blustery this year. The chill lingers out on the grounds, especially here in the shade of their usual beech tree beside the lake, but the sky is blue and sunny. Some fifth years run up and down the slope to the shore, tossing around a snarling Fanged Frisbee. The Giant Squid waves its tentacles lazily in the shallows; Davey Gudgeon and Dirk Cresswell, waded out up their knees, offer it a slice of toast.

"Yeah," Peter says. He shuffles his book to his other knee and gives Remus a better look at the parchment he's sketching on. "For the passageway hunt."

On Remus' other side, Jeanette looks up from her Charms textbook. The wind rushing off the lake throws her hair around her face; she twists it back and sticks it through with her wand. "The what?"

"James and Sirius have got this idea that there's a secret passageway out of the castle," Remus tells her. "They reckon it's hidden in a statue, and you can only get it to open by tapping it."