TIGERLILLY- THE BRAVO BOYS [book two]

Chapter TWENTY FIVE

Frankie Xiao

.. THE NIGHT OF THE FULL MOON ..

Sweet and sour soup simmers in the big pot on the stove and the oven hums with a warm buzz as it bakes a second batch of sweet-cakes.. Lovey babbles on from her high chair, drinking her midnight milk as I hurry about the kitchen.. Preparing a feast that could feed ten, that really will only feed two..

But I know it is just the right amount, because River will be hungry when he gets home..

He is always hungry..
And I love to watch him eat..

Oh, the kitchen in this new place is magnificent, with glossy marble counters, crisp white cupboards and vintage copper taps, it's as lovely as the cover of a cookbook..

I'm not sure why we had to move so hurriedly in the middle of the night to this new apartment.. One minute I'd been fast asleep and the next we were packing everything and going to stay farther uptown.. But I wouldn't dream of complaining, because this place has a balcony.. With a sweeping view that overlooks midtown and the park..

I like to stand out there, as if I am almost a part of the world, feeling the breeze on my skin while I watch people wander in and out of their buildings, going about their busy lives.. Sometimes I count the cars as they pass by down on the street below..
One day I will learn to drive..
I will ask River to show me how..

The Tiger had told me that our moving to midtown was 'just to be safe'.. 'A precaution', he called it.. Though he wouldn't say exactly what we are keeping safe from.. I guess he didn't really need to..

I know the danger I am always in.. I know the persistent risk I pose to his life..
It lingers at the back of my mind, that whispering voice of dread, reminding me of all the reasons I can't go outside..

I am still hiding from Li Jun.. Maybe I will be hiding from him for the rest of my life.. Maybe I will never feel brave again.. Maybe I will never be myself again..

But I am hiding from more than just that..

I am hiding from a dangerous lineage and a bad bloodline.. If I spent ten years as captive because I am the Dragon's daughter, what else might happen to me for the same reason?

Oh, and the shame.. The disgrace I am to that same heritage I have come to hate..

I was supposed to be a sweet girl.. Quiet and dutiful to my father and his wishes..

But what if I don't want to be that?
Would father accept me just the same?

Part of me is so afraid he wouldn't..

It had always been such a difficult task to impress Father Fei.. At school I received the highest of grades and at home I rarely made a fuss.. Still, I don't actually remember him ever saying he was proud of me.

I remember feeling special, but unnoticed in his presence..
I remember my 'I love you's' being met with 'good girl's'..
I remember never quite being enough, always shy of perfect..

I miss my father.. I do.. But I can't recall a moment when I felt how I was supposed to feel..

Really, I don't know how I am supposed to feel.. About anything..

But at least I am happy here..
And really, I get to do whatever I want..
Well.. Whatever I want except going outside..

I am still too afraid to venture out beyond the front stoop without River by my side..

Things have been different lately, for the last week The Tiger has been gone during the day and exhausted at night.. Even though he insists on getting up and taking care of Lovey when she wakes in the middle of the night, I still get out of bed to sit with him..