The Jeremy Gilbert Diaries Continued

3.27

Kol kissed me.

I keep touching my fingers to my lips as if I need to keep reminding myself that it was real, or as if somehow I could feel him again.

My heart is fluttering and I've had to stop myself from spinning around in circles with the desk chair out of pure happiness.

I feel like... I found a part of myself. One of the parts I couldn't remember. Something just... clicked. It felt so right.

Almost like we've done it before.

"I want to show you something." Kol had said out of the blue once we were done practicing.

"Oh?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"Yeah." He replied. "May I?"

"Of course." I let him take me by the hand and tangle his cool fingers in tightly with my warmer ones.

It was a cliffside, a beautiful one. We sat in the tall grass, his knee resting on top of mine. "Wow," I had said, staring out at the trees atop the rocky wall. A still, blue-brown river ran along low below us, and the sound of its quiet splashing against the rocks was really comforting.

Looking at it I had such a strong itch to draw it all. Being there felt so good, with that familiar feeling of need, the feeling of Kol's hand in mine, and the calming sounds. I felt like myself for the first time in a while. "Thanks for bringing me here," I muttered, astonished.

Kol rested his ear on my shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to my neck. "I knew you would like it." He breathed and I shivered pleasantly. Briefly I wondered, how did you know, we don't know each other that well, but I didn't get a chance to think about it too hard because in that same second I turned my head, and suddendly his lips were on mine, and his hand was on the back on my neck.

And oh my god. Kol is so insanely beautiful and kissing him in that place in that way made me feel like I was a movie.

"I like you, Jeremy. I hope that isn't weird for you." He spoke against my lips.

"God, no." I'd been thinking about this for days. I didn't give him time to respond before I kissed him again, and he smiled into it. "You're hot." I praised with a smile of my own and he chuckled, pulling me down on top of him, and we laid in the grass like that for quite a while.

He played with my hair as we stared at each other, just basking in the moment. "You're the first thing that's made me feel normal in so long, Kol," I told him eventually. Since I've been in Colorado, he's the only thing that seemed to fit.

He looked down, away from my eyes, almost looking guilty. But then he said, "Same, Jer."

He had never called me that before. I never told him to, and he hadn't met any of my friends that called me that. But, it wasn't the most far-fetched nickname to assume, so I let it go.

He walked me home, only letting go of my hand once we were at the front door. "Same time tommorow?" I asked, placing my hand on his chest.

He smiled. He's so pretty. "I miss you already."

I miss him, too.

Jeremy Gilbert