The Beginning.

Chapter 10: I can feel it here

-15th September, 1993-

"Nice jumper." Deena had a smirk smeared on her face as Sam walked towards her. It slowly wiped itself off as she came closer.

Sam didn't look so cheerful as she hunched her shoulders while making her way down the school corridor.
"I came to give it back to you." Sam had bloodshot eyes. She pulled the jumper over her head and held it out towards Deena.
"Just take it." Sam said impatiently.

Deena took her hands out her pockets and looked concerned.
"Hey, what's going on?" Deena asked, her head tilted.
"Just fucking take it Deena!" Sam shouted in frustration. All the kids in the hallway turned to look at what was going on.

"Jesus ok! What the fuck Sam?" Deena managed, anger and confusion laced into her words.
It was too late. Sam had run off to the toilets.
"I'll go." Kate said calmly. She'd obviously witnessed what'd happened.
Deena nodded reluctantly.

Kate rushed into the toilets and gently closed the door behind her as she heard Sam sniffling.

"Sam?" Kate called out quietly.

"Please go away Kate." Sam tried to stop herself from weeping.

"Listen, I know we don't really know each other but - I know what's going on. I think I know why you're upset." Kate tried to keep a consoling tone.

Without more dialogue, Sam slowly opened her cubicle door and fell into Kate's arms. It felt forced but in a nice way. She needed a hug.

"Hey, hey. It's going to be ok." Kate wrapped her arms around Sam's back and made comforting patterns.

"I'm sorry." Sam apologised. She continued to sniffle.

"Shall we go and find her?" Kate suggested? They both knew who 'her' was. She didn't need to explain further.

Sam nodded and let go of Kate, patting her with a smile as she did, as if to thank her.

Fortunately, Deena was already right there. She'd just flung the door open and was now staring at Sam who was still in a state.

"Come here." Deena took her bag off of her shoulder and dropped the jumper on the floor.
Her eyes were filled.

Sam burst into tears and practically ran into Deena's arms. It was a different type of hug to the one she gave Kate.

"I'm so- I'm so sorry." Sam could barely get the words out. Deena just held her, gently combing Sams hair with her fingers and dragging stands behind her ears.

There was a small squeak from the door as Simon popped his head round the corner.

"I got us all candy bars from the machine, figured we could use them?" He smiled, that infectious smile that seemed so carefree and uplifting.
Somehow, it lightened the mood and they all sat on the floor nibbling on overpriced chocolate for a while.

Deena and Sam met up after last period. They desperately needed to talk, and school wasn't the best place for that.
Deena waited for her on a park bench.

"Hey." Sam appeared from behind some trees.

"Hey." Deena had to stop her automatic smile at the sight of Sam. It didn't seem right.

"Been tryiiin to meet you." Sam attempted to sing. (Pixies ;))

"Wow. That was pretty good you know." Deena couldn't hold the smile back anymore.

Sam nodded and sat down next to her, keeping a bit of distance. Which was unusual.

"That was bad timing. I think we should talk." Sam said with a sigh.

"Enlighten me, Sam." Deena was clearly annoyed. Sam was surprised by the tone and it made her go quiet.

"I just - I don't know. I'm scar-." Sam started.

"You're scared?" Deena was trying to keep herself together, her fists now tightly squeezing the bottom of the bench.

"Yes I'm scared." Sam managed to get in.

"Jesus Sam what is this?" Deena stood up and shoved her hands in her jeans.

"I don't know what it is!" Sam cried.

"Well can you let me know please? Can you make your mind up? Jesus can you just speak to me!" Deena shouted in anger and desperation.

Sam now had her head in her hands.
"Deena! I feel - I feel things for you ok?" Sam had said the last part very quietly.
"I want to kiss you and hold you and make you smile and watch you eat greasy burgers and introduce you to my stupid fucking family and hold your hand and hear you sing your songs and I want to tickle you and go food shopping with you and - and I just want you ok!" She grew more confident, despite her flustered gushing.
Sam played with her fingers and looked at the floor.
"But I don't know what that means, and I'm scared."

Deena had taken a few breaths and stepped towards the bench, kneeling down and resting her hands on Sam's knees.
"I feel the same, Sam." Deena's voice cracked.
She took another breath.
"And like you - I don't know what it means. I don't know what it means ok? But I don't even care! I don't even care what it means Sam, because this...I'm not letting this go. This shouldn't be let go. I can feel it here." Deena placed her hand on her heart. Passion in her voice.

"I can feel it too." Sam reached her hand up to Deena's cheek and wiped a tear that'd began to roll.

"Shall we just hold each other's hands as we figure it out?" Deena sniffled. Smiles were apparent once again.