Change no longer means anything.
Every time I've promised it or been told of it, it's been short lived.
You'll never be better than the lies you spread.
Your moral victories are forfeit,
Sink deeper.
Coward.
Looking for higher meaning and purpose from inanimate objects ,
Even if they had beating hearts, they'd turn their ears and scoff.
As hard as I'll ever try to change, it'll be for naught.
I can't.
I can't leave the past.
I've promised to accelerate,
But I've set my brakes.
I'm a solid object, being pushed forward only to be pulled back.
If you're waiting for me to show progress,
You'll soon be disappointed.
I've given up on moving on.
_________________
Functioning isn't a possibility for me.
What was high is low.
Breathing is hardly easy.
It used to be difficult to stay afloat,
But I find myself at the bottom more often than not.
My mind will sing and sing of better times,
And my heart will lie time and time again to recreate the best feelings I can remember.
11 days turned to prayers and poorly drawn conclusions.
6 days of bliss, 1 of sleep, in exchange for years of tears.
How biblical, for the Genesis to be so beautiful and the Revelation to be horrid.
Death, a solis ortu usque ad occasum.
A failure, ab initio.
It was an illusion that I crave to be deceived by again.
At least,
Through faith in lies,
I can love again.
A film over my eyes,
Show me again only what you would have me see.
The world we imagined was never waiting for us.
It had more worthy responsibilities than to allow us to break it in two.
