Thereafter

Chapter 1

I set my alarm before for 7 am because my grand-mother is picking us up me and my father at 8 am. It's presently 5:14 am and I'm still staring at my ceiling, I didn't sleep one bit, shifting back and forth, I even tried counting sheep, last time I did that I think I was 10 years old, but thank god it didn't work because lately every time I fall asleep I regret it instantly the second I wake up from this weird and confusing nightmare I get. My mind is not letting me sleep with all the chaos going on in there.

Last time I saw my grand-mother was 10 years ago, when I was 6 years old, do you blame me for not wanting to see her? She took my brother away from this life when he was only 2 years old but left me here with my junkie mother and father.... why wasn't I good enough like my brother Andy to save from this lifestyle. It took my mother's death for her to consider taking me in.

My life is completely getting turned upside down, new school, new city, new home, I don't know how I feel about it, whether I'm happy or mad... at least my father is tagging along with us but I'm still not sure how that's going to work out, my grand-mother and father don't get along much and honestly thats why I think she doesn't like me much because I remind her of my father. I'm the splitting image of him. They both promised my mother on her deathbed that they will get along for my sake, but I don't believe it for a minute, only time will tell.

     "Melissa!" I hear my father's voice from the other side of the door.

I groan and look at the clock. Wow! It's 6:30 am I must have lost track of time with all this thinking, but I still have 30 minutes before I actually have to get up. I take my time getting up from my single inflatable mattress, the closer we're getting to 8 am the more nervous and annoyed I feel. To change my mind I decide to dis inflate my inflatable mattress and put it in the one box of things I'm bringing with me at my grandmother's, I have little; I have my clothes, one photo album of when I was in foster care, my journal, and let's not forget my inflatable mattress. Today is a new beginning but I don't like change. I don't know what to expect, I hate the unexpected. I'm certainly not getting my hopes up, but any upgrade from this I'm sure I'll be fine.

     "Melissa!" He says, banging on my door like a maniac.
     "IM UP" I yell.

The loud noise of his fist meeting the wall startles me and I know this is his way of telling me to shut up and not yell at him the way I did. He's already mad! Doesn't take him much to get mad when he doesn't have any drugs in his system.

In one way I'm kind of glad my mother died because now I get the chance to get out of this life with them, I get to see what's outside these walls and what I've been missing, it might sound cruel but I'm not mad or sad that my mother died, she suffered enough for too long. First by battling her demons with drugs and alcohol and then cancer, my father was no help during those times he was abusive and while she was battling her cancer, he was feeding her drugs instead of helping her get clean. I'm glad she's not suffering anymore but mostly because she's not around anymore, I have one less to deal with.

I spent the last few years expecting this. I spent so much time thinking about how my life was going to change the second my mother passed away, was it going to be better?, was I going to get along with my brother and grand-mother?, was my father going to be his same old self or was he really going to change like he always said he was?.

Now that the time has come, I am more than nervous. I am scared I won't like my new beginning. Most teenagers are not like me. I have no friends. I didn't  want any because I didn't want to explain how my whole situation with my parents. I didn't want anyone to step inside my home to see the nightmare I was living in. I never went to a friend's house, birthday party, to the movies, etc... I just didn't have the opportunity, maybe that's going to change, maybe I'm going to have a great start and I'm going to live a teenager's life instead of being the parent to my parents.