Thereafter

Chapter 9

I check my phone, it's 11 pm, I lost track of time watching the titanic, it's the first time I watch it and let me tell you it's amazing, it made me cry a lot but it was all worth it.

I have to go check my makeup, I go to my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, I clean up under my eyes and reapply my mascara. It shows I've been crying my eyes are all puffy, honestly who do I have to impress at this party. The only one I cared about was Ethan before but he's going to be preoccupied by the girl he's going to be with, Ashley I think her name is. Whatever I have to stop obsessing over him, I'm already late. I take a deep breath, build up the courage, leave my room and head downstairs.

I walk into the basement, and the music is really loud! It's crazy how sound proof this house is. I swear I didn't hear the music before I opened the door to the basement. Good for my brother, I guess.

He knows how to throw a party.... Good music, colourful lights flashing. There's alcohol everywhere you look, there's people dancing, some sitting, some kissing, get a room! Everyone seems to enjoy themselves. I don't know if I like this, it's giving me terrible flashbacks of when my mother and father used to throw parties, but the difference here is that there isn't a junkie shooting up heroin right in front of me and creepy old guys yelling inappropriate stuff to me.

I just hope it doesn't show that this is my first party. I want to fit in as much as possible, I look around at everyone and notice everyone has alcohol, I look to my left and there's a table with beers on it, I take one and start walking with it. People glance at me here and there but not in a bad way, I guess I'm fitting in.

Where is Andy? I can't see him anywhere, the only place I haven't checked is his living room, I head there, there his is with Audrey and Thomas on the couch, god Thomas is so hot, he's almost hotter than Ethan. I walk towards them and that's when I see him sitting right across from my brother on the other couch with a girl sitting on his lap with platinum blond hair, fair skin, blue eyes. She's absolutely beautiful, his hand is on her thigh and they're laughing, that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.

     "What wrong? It looks like you saw a ghost?" Andy says, trying to get my attention. It worked.
     "No-nothing" I stutter and take a huge sip of the beer in my hand to hide my embarrassment. Everyone is looking at me.
     "Come on, come and sit" Thomas says, tapping the empty spot on the couch next to him "You look beautiful tonight" he says as I sit next to him.
     "Thank you, the same goes to you" I smile.
     "Watch it Thomas! That's my little sister!" Andy says jokingly and everyone laughs.
     "Hey I'm Ashley, nice to meet you" the girl on Ethan's lap says.
     "Hi" I say with annoyance.
     "So you are Ethan's" - I start.
     "Friend" Ethan cuts me off, she looks at him with a confused face and slowly gets off his lap.
     "Stop fucking around dude! We all know she's your girlfriend whether you admit it or not" Thomas adds laughing.
     "She a good fuck, that's it" Ethan answers and Ashley gets up furious.
     "Asshole" she screams, throws her drink in his face and leaves.
     "She'll be back" Ethan says with cockiness, wiping his face with his t-shirt, exposing his abs. Wow. That was cruel. How can he be fine with doing that to his 'friend' or 'girlfriend'? Whatever you want to call her.
     "Here, have a hit" Thomas hands me a joint. I look at Andy to see if he's looking, good he's not. I take a hit and give it back to Thomas fast.
     "That's some good shit" I tell him.
     "Yeah my dealer has the best shit in town. Anything you want he can get but he isn't cheap" he says. Nice, just what I need.
     "Can I get his number?" I ask Thomas. He nods, takes my phone and puts the number inside.
     "There you go! I also added my number, Just don't tell your brother" he winks and hands me back my phone.
     "Thank you, I'll text you like that you have mine" I send him a text saying 'Melissa' as I told him I was going to.
     "Perfect" he smiles.

I look up, I see Ethan's eyes on me, it feels like he's looking inside my soul, he looks like he's going to kill me, his eyes are intense, when he notices I'm looking back at him he looks at his phone and starts typing. My phone buzzes. I look at it and it's a text from Ethan.

'What are you doing??' **ETHAN**

I decide to ignore it. He doesn't deserve my time. I have to change my mind. I get up, I tell Thomas I'll be back. I go to that table from before, get another beer and chug it. I need something stronger. I look around and not too far I see another table but this time with hard liquor. I make my way through a bunch of people dancing and grinding on each other, I get to the table and this random girl asks if I want to do shots.

Yes!

We cheers and take the shot. I feel the vodka burning while it's going down in my throat, it feels so good.

"Another one" I yell to the girl and she nods and laughs, pouring us another shot.

I take it. I take the bottle this time and pour myself another one and take it.

     "It's enough!" This voice behind me says, I know that voice oh too well. I ignore him and take another shot. He yanks the bottle out of my hand and hits my forearm with the cuts. I grab my arm in pain. The room is spinning. Ethan catches me before I hit the ground.
     "Ok I'm bringing you to a bed to sober up" he says, heading towards a door.
     "I'm not drunk" I say, trying to wiggle myself out of his hold.
     "Yeah ok!" He says grabbing me and putting on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My arm is in a lot of pain, my shirt feels wet, I must be bleeding again.
     "Put me down" I yell, kicking him.
     "Why are you acting like this?" He asks me, putting me down on the bed, and I go off.
     "Why am I acting this way? You have some serious balls Ethan! I didn't use you! I didn't make you think I cared and then completely stop talking to you! I didn't fucking kiss you and then come to this party with another guy! I didn't make you feel like you were not important! You did all of those things Ethan! I cared about you and you're here with your so fucking called girlfriend! I'm not acting like nothing. I'm having fun and you're ruining it! Now leave me alone. I'm here trying to have fun without thinking of you! I'm trying to forget you and you're making it really hard!" I yell. It must be the alcohol in my body that's giving me this courage to stand up for myself like that.

Me getting worked up didn't help my arm, the pain got worst. At this point I don't really care. I lift my sleeve and my arm is covered in blood. I get up and walk to the bathroom. Ethan follows me. Does every room in this house have a bathroom? Probably. I take a rag, wet it and dab my arm not to irritate the cuts more.

     "Fucking shit Melissa! Again!" He says, grabbing the rag out of my hand. He starts cleaning the blood properly and gently.
     "What do you mean again?" I ask, looking at him take care of my arm perfectly.
     "One night I came to your room to talk to you and you were completely out on the floor. Who the fuck do you think cleaned you up and cleaned your mess? It wasn't you, that's for fucking sure. You have to stop!" He says. Holy shit that night it was him!!!!!!!
     "First of all, you need to stop coming in my room when I'm unconscious, and second, this is the only thing that makes me feel better" I say harshly. He gets up and goes in the cabinet and takes out a bandage.
     "Can I ask you something?" He asks in a soft voice. Putting the bandage on my arm.
     "I guess" I answer as he's cleaning up.
     "Why did you do it this time" he says as he turns around to look at me.
     "You! To forget the pain that you caused me by leaving me and not talking to me like I was nothing to you, which I know my place now don't worry, and I know the feelings were one sided" I must be really drunk for admitting this.

He doesn't answer. He walks up to me and hugs me tight. I embrace the hug and hug him back, it feels good being in his arms again, to feel safe again.

     "You were my safe place" I whisper.
     "I'm sorry princess" he whispers back, not letting go, stroking my head. I wouldn't trade this moment for anything in the world. I want this moment to last forever. I never want a world without him.