Irene, My dead best friend [Wattys 2015]

Chapter 26: Chuck It!

Chapter 26: Chuck it!

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” 
― Haruki Murakami

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I had no idea how to comprehend the changing expressions on Irene’s face. She was either shocked at what I had said or she knew what I had said was true, I had no idea. I considered breaking her out of her shock and questioning her about it but something in my gut told me to leave her alone. Maybe she needed some time to process what I’d said. After all, it was something major and in the event of me being right, it changed everything.

I pushed my backpack behind me and proceeded to lay down, resting my head on it. After the entire day running around these freaky woods, it felt great to finally rest my back and be able to relax a little bit. I watched Irene the entire while; She didn’t look at me once but just sat there having an internal war, I presumed. Laying there, I watched her hair dance around her head in gentle movement as the slow breeze picked up around us. Her no-so-white dress flapped around her in a serene calmness and between it all, she sat, the epitome of beauty. I was sure I could stare at her all day but the gentle breeze was working wonders on me too. The stress of the entire day was pouring out of me ever so slowly, letting me relax, and leaving nothing in my head but a hearty image of Irene.

I figured I might as well be a creep while she wasn’t concentrating on me and take my time looking at her. I’m not proud of this but she was definitely something to look at. I knew she was mulling through an inner turmoil and all I could do was stare at her. If she caught me staring, lord knows how I’d explain it to her but I’d worry about that later. Her raven hair blew gently while settled on her shoulder. I’d never noticed it was quiet long, almost half way down her back, flowing in beautiful waves. Her eyes where large and crystal blue, the first thing I’d ever noticed about her. I smiled at the thought, it felt like a hundred years ago that I had met her. Her eyes were incased in a thick set of lashes, giving them a smoky appearance. Her cheeks however, where pale, probably due to the heavy processing she was doing. They lead on to a set of full, pink lips that instead of being in a smile that they deserved where now quivering. Quivering? I looked back at her and realized that she was on the verge of tears. Maybe she had finally hit home.

“Irene, what’s wrong?” I called out to her, sitting up and crawling closer to her.

“I think I remember,” and just like that her crystal, blue eyes were brimming over with bright tears flowing down her cheeks but I’d never seen her this way. She had always cried her silent tears without any emotions. Except now, she was crying furiously, her shoulder shaking with the intensity with which she was exuding emotions. Something was wrong, I could feel it.

“Shhh Irene, what is it? What do you remember?” I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to hold her and tell her she’d be alright but my voice triggered something else in her, twisting her face into a picture of utter agony. Still sitting, she turned around and covered her face with her palms and then cried even more. She sounded like a little child who’d lost her parents, oh the irony. Her body exuded so much sadness that it was getting difficult to bear. She wasn’t telling me anything, she was clearly in some form of emotional pain and I had no way of making her feel better.

Chuck it, this had to be done. I grabbed her by the shoulder, her untouchable shoulder and turned her around. I felt like a mime then, because for me, I was grabbing at empty space but she turned around nonetheless. I pulled her closer and hugged her. That was it. Something I’d wanted to do for two days now, wondering about how it would feel when I finally did it, but I felt nothing. I felt like I had my arms around an invisible block but nothing more, it tore at something inside me, making me feel sad with Irene. She however, once in my arms, broke down crying entirely. I could feel a certain pressure push toward my chest as I realized that she was crying into my shirt. I rubbed her back gently, only feeling like I was waving my hands up and down in midair.

“Shh Irene, what is it? If you don’t tell me how will I know? Shhh sweet girl, don’t cry,” my voice was soft and exuding the pain she felt. I assumed it was something definitely bad because only a terrible memory would elicit this kind of reaction.

I don’t know how long it took her but her weeping was finally silenced, leaving the woods around us once more. She stayed in my arms, not making an attempt to move, the darkness engulfing us, reminding me of where we were. In the middle of a mysterious woods, surrounded by enchanted beings, safety nowhere around us. It was during this recognition that I felt the pressure leaving my chest and the space pushing out of my arms. Irene was moving away from me.

Sympathy covered my face as I watched her push her hair out of her face and wipe the tears that had completely covered her cheeks. Her eyes were slightly red, lips an enticing maroon color.

“I remember almost everything,” she croaked at me, probably parched from all the crying.

I crawled towards my backpack and pulled it to me. Unzipping it, I pulled out the small bottle of water I had and gave it to her.

“What do you remember?” I felt surprisingly calm then, totally aware that my years of assimilation with all things horrid and scary had made me immune to any kind of overzealous reaction. She took the bottle from me and took a small sip, handing it back to me. I took it and threw it into the back pack.

“I remember the blood, the screams and the people you saw in the woods….the dying people,”

“Oh,” I gulped audibly. There was no other way to react to such information. I did however, feel my palms begin to sweat.

“They were my relatives. The man with half a leg missing was my uncle; my father’s brother. The woman begging for her life in that house…that was my aunt,” Silent tears brimmed over her eyes and fell onto her cheeks.

“Do you know who killed them?” was all I could muster. I didn’t want to say much, I had a feeling she had more to say and this wasn’t going to be the worst of it.

“I also know where my house is,”

“What?!” I did notice that she had completely ignored my initial question but the new information that she had laid down on me, changed everything. “Where is it?”

“It’s in this forest. These aren’t your ordinary woods, Jason. This is a forest. It’s a huge forest that you just happen to live at the edge of. You’re lucky you’ve never ventured this far into it. It’s a terrible place.” She looked at me dead straight in the eyes and I had no choice but to believe it. Sweat trickled down my back as I realized the gravity of what she was saying to me.

“How do you know all this? What about your aunt and uncle, you never told me who killed them,” I had a billion questions but I didn’t want to freak her out with them. She however, was doing a brilliant job of scaring the shit out of me with her dead tone of voice, no emotion at all.

“I told you, I remember almost everything…some things aren’t adding up but I’m sure I need to just think about it a little while. Go to sleep, Jason. We’ll be entering a whole new world tomorrow. You’ll need all the energy you can save,” and with that, she turned around and laid down on the ground. Resting her head on her arm, wrapping her dress around her protectively, she left me to my devices.

I was shocked, perplexed even at all the information she had thrown at me. The lack of information, more like. “New world” what the hell was she talking about? She was emotionless all of a sudden, her mercurial state of mind giving me a headache. I wanted to shake her and demand answers but her resolve was set. Wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, I laid down at a little distance from her. She had probably lost it. Yes, she needed to sleep it off. That crazy session of crying she had just gone through had taken a toll on her. Yes, she needed some time to herself.

I adjusted my backpack under my head, trying to get it somewhat comfortable and closed my eyes trying to become one with the silence around me. The darkness made it easier to sleep and the soft breeze engulfed me like a soft blanket. Everything would be alright in the morning.

©Hafsa T.M (aka HTMwrites)