Irene, My dead best friend [Wattys 2015]

Chapter 11: Meaningful Dreams

Chapter 11: Meaningful dreams

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” 

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

As far as I’ve known, Mr. Milne wrote children’s stories, but was it fair at all to write something so deep for children whose power of comprehension was barely attuned at all? Perhaps, he meant it as something for the adults, you know, a lot of parents read their kids bed time stories and so maybe Mr. Milne thought it would be something thought provoking for the adults? I can’t entirely be too sure of this considering my parents never read to me, well …to be fair my dad tried once, let’s just say it was a terrible disaster. At age 5, his version of a bed time story was describing office politics about a lead character whose name was, to no one’s surprise, quite like my fathers’. Five minutes into that story, I was pretending to be asleep, just so that he’d stop with that story and let me be with the horrors of what were my room.

Back to the point though, Mr. Milne was spot on about dreams, although he never did clarify what he meant by “be together all the time”. He never mentioned that there are times when people don’t want to be in each others’ dreams because not everyone had nice, cheerful dreams. There were the like of me who saw nightmares but that was an entirely different category, wasn’t it? We’ll give Mr. Milne benefit of the doubt and go with the fact that perhaps he only meant the good kind of dreams because if Mr. Milne spent a night in my mind, he’d probably re-quote himself.

It wasn’t bad enough that the day had been traumatic to say the least for me. I think at this point, we’ve established that I am not the bravest of the lot, but I really don’t think anyone else would have handled the situation any better. So when I dozed off into a dreamless sleep that night….I was wrong. “Dreamlessness" was an illusion I suffered from for the initial part of my sleep. Then all hell broke loose.

The last thing I remembered was barely being able to take off my shoes before I all but fell onto the bed. It was instantaneous darkness after that, right up to the point Irene entered my unconsciousness; she entered my mind with a fluidity that I did not expect. Now I know some of you all are whistling and high fiving at this point….no…don’t do it…just stop. Pervs…ugh (let’s not mention the fact that I was hoping for something like that too, but nope). 

Initially, it was all quite nice, to be honest, I saw her the way I did before I came to sleep, her beautiful porcelain skin, her crystal blue eyes were the only things I could concentrate on. She was standing in the woods, again with her white dress on, her hair raven black floating around her in beautiful waves. She was clearly floating this time, her dress a few inches above the ground, still hiding her feet, but it didn’t bother me this time. It seemed quite normal and I smiled at her. Beautiful Irene smiled back at me and called me towards her with a “come here” indication of her fingers. I didn’t give it a second thought. I just walked towards her, as fast as my feet could carry me, without a care in the world. I was distinctly aware of Rufus being somewhere in the picture but Irene’s eyes had me captured.

She just floated there, smiling and calling me to her until I was inches from her still only having eyes for her. Her blue iris’s that had me enthralled, all but engulfed me into them and before I knew it, I was inside Irene’s mind. There was darkness everywhere, but not the darkness of a hollow mind but more of a mind that had lived with terror and fear for so long that there was nothing else it could comprehend. It was a never ending abyss of darkness and I could not tell how vast the space was or if there was a left or a right.  Despite the darkness all around, there was a speck of light that came from somewhere in the distance. I tried to walk towards it but the closer I got the farther it seemed to get. I started running then, as fast as I could; extending my hands so that I would be able to get it somehow.

I’m not sure for how long I ran but I’m pretty sure during some point the speck slowed down because I was finally able to get to it and touch it. The second my small, thin pointer finger came in contact with that small speck of light, everything exploded. The darkness all around me was gradually being engulfed by a white light that was coming out of that speck and taking over the entire dark space that was Irene’s mind. I stood there, my mind befogged, my finger still touching the speck, trying to not be afraid of the light. It was as though my finger was attached with the speck, they had become one and there was no way I could step away from it. I’m quite sure I didn’t try; I was more concentrated on watching the white light take over the entire room. And before I knew it, just like that, the room had gone from pitch darkness to a blinding white. Just as the last inch of black got covered by the etherealness of the white, the speck, where it all originated from, finally let go of my finger and thrusting me off in the process so that I ended up falling a few meters off into the space, into Irene’s mind.

It was now white and bright everywhere around me, and I was still unable to tell space around me. It was a stark, white space now, with no knowledge of distance or passing time. It was at this point that I began to freak out and started running away from the speck which was barely visible anymore. I ran, as fast as my legs could carry me but I couldn’t tell if I was covering any distance at all. I ran still, whipping the sweat that now covered my brow, avoiding the sweat that trickled down my back adding to my fear. I kept running and running till just about the point I was about to give up but I was propelled out of what seemed to be Irene’s mind and was thrown out onto the ground where I had initially seen her for the first time. I landed flat on my back and could feel the crunch of the autumn leaved under my back and also a sudden pain that arose in my thoracic vertebrae region. I was going to be feeling that after a while.

I managed to get myself off of the floor without hurting myself too much and looked up at Irene who was still floating there with her head cocked to one side, staring at me. Her smile very slowly morphed into an expression of fear and anxiety as she saw me get up off the floor, dusting my pants in the process.

“What was that, Irene?” I asked her, a little afraid but still standing my ground.

Her head gently cocked to the other side and a lone tear escaped her right eye, trickling down her porcelain cheeks and leave a trail behind.

“Irene, what’s wrong?” I asked her concerned and talking a step closer to her.

She started screaming and it was no ordinary scream. She was screaming bloody murder, her voice reverberating through the woods, scaring the birds in the process that flew out of the branches screeching in unison with Irene. There was screaming and screeching all around me causing me to place both hands over my ears, trying to save my hearing. Irene was screaming and her face was contorted in a horrible expression of fear. With my hands still placed firmly over my ears, I took a tiny step towards Irene, despite what it had just earned me, I wanted her to not be afraid of me and most of all, stop screaming.

But it had the exact opposite effect. As soon as she saw me step in her direction, she started screaming louder, as if that was possible, and turned on her floating heels and bolted into the woods. Within the span of a blink she was at the very opposite end of the woods, as far as my eyes could see, still running. Before I could even react, she had disappeared into thin air with lingering screams still in the atmosphere.

It was around sun rise when I woke up with a bolt, completely drenched in cold sweat that covered my entire body. It was just a dream, it was just a dream, I tried to convince myself, but I knew better.

©Hafsa T.M (aka HTMwrites)