Cringy Cringe

Chapter 8

I sat on my bed while hugging my legs and having my blanket cover me. It was lonely in this room. The silence put an emotional suffocating pressure on me. I wished I could cry right now but I couldn't. I wished I stayed with Mike. He could be still alive if I had. I could have safed him. Knock knock. I didn't answered the door. Kreek. The door opened and closed. I still didn't looked. Click click click. The footsteps came closer. Someone hobbled their way to me. I felt how my mattress arched. A hand laid itself on my head and began to pet me. "Jean told me that you ran in your room." sounded Levi's voice. "Mike's dead, Levi.." "I know." he said "Many will die. Those men are here to die for mankind. Mike too." "I know... It still hurts." I replied "If I stayed with him, he would be still alive.." "Maybe. Maybe he would have died on the rescue mission of Eren." argued Levi "Don't blame yourself for his death or their." I stayed silent. Levi pulled my blanket off of me and pressed gently a kiss on my head. I finally looked up to Levi. He wore his civil cloths. I wore my sleeping clothes. "I was scared when I heard that they took you with them." revealed Levi "And I couldn't rescue you." Levi didn't look at me while he was talking. "Don't worry, they were  noobs in kidnaping." I said with a tiny grin on my lips "Those in the underground were better." Levi looked at me again and formed a tiny smile with his lips. He probably remembered how I once got so much on the nerves of my kidnapper that he threw me out. I laid my hand on his head. "Levi, promise me that you never die on me... I couldn't bere to loose you. I love you too much that I wouldn't handle your death.." Levi took my face in his hands. "I would never die on you. I love you too much to just leave you." I hugged him and buried my face in his hard shoulder. He put his arms around me and petted my back. "Thank you.." I mumbled quietly. We stayed like that for some moments before I separated us. Levi stood up. "We need to go soon. Historia and Eren need to be hidden and protected." he informed me "And I assigned my new squat." "Understood." I stood up as well. "Pack your stuff. We go soon." ordered Levi. I nodded and he left the room.

The ride was long and we had to make sure that no one was following us. To be honest, I liked the place. It seemed to be peaceful here. We put our horses in the patrol and brought our stuff inside. The house was dusty and dirty inside so Levi gave us all cleaning duty. Yay...
It was dark outside. We sat all on the table. In front of us our meal. I wasn't very hungry. Christa or better Historia began to tell us about her childhood. She told us how she grew up on a ranch and how much she was hated there. She also explained how she had to watch how her mother got killed and how she got the name 'Christa Renz'. Poor girl.
After the dinner, I went outside. The cold air felt nice on my skin. I looked up in the sky. Little stars flickered down on me. I remembered how I watched the night sky with Isabel, Furlan and Levi. I missed those days.

I sat next to Pixis on the couch. Erwin finally was in the condition that you could talk to him again. Pixies and Levi explained Erwin what happened during the week where he was unconscious. It wasn't an interesting week.
My eyes drawn themselves to his missing arm. Flashbacks of the incident filled my head. How the titan bite his arm off was disgusting. It remembered me of all the others I saw dying. "Sweet (y/n)?" Hanji snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hm?" I hummed. I didn't realize that Connie and Hanji entered the room. "We're leaving." told me Levi who already stood at the door, ready to leave. "Oh okay." I stood up "Bye, Erwin. Rest well." I gave him my sweetest of smiles. He returned it.

"You had enough time.." said Levi after he brushed his fingertips under the table "Hm..alright.. We talk later about your terrible cleaning skills. Now we talk about our situation." And so he recalled our goal to fill the hole in wall Maria and let Armin explain his plan to us again. "If we succeed or not, is depending on Eren." said Levi. "Yes... I'm ready" agreed Eren. His face didn't look like he was. Levi turned to Hanji "Did you hear that, Hanji? He got the needed motivation. Now you need to find a place for the experiences." "Of course. As long... I live.. that's my job..." "Hm?" "The garrison had mobile every force to patrol the wall what means a lot of work. So they neglect the wall cities. It's just a matter of time until there's chaos." told they "That's why I'm convinced than ever that we have to recapture wall Maria. So we don't have time to lose. We have to act fast but still.... I want that Eren hides a little longer." There was silence before Eren broke it "What?" "But..why?" questioned Armin. "Because...the situation is more complicated than we thought." "Since I've arrived I have the feeling that you all piss in your pants in fear. And you look like that now." began Levi "So why are you scared? Spit it out, Hanji!" "Pastor Nick is dead." "What?" - Levi. "Dead...?" - Armin. "?" - Sasha. "Pastor Nick was found dead today morning. The course of death is unknown... But it's clear that he was murdered." Hanji began to tell how they found out about the death of the pastor. Well in short: Hanji and Moblit went to his room but the military police blocked the entrance and didn't let them in but Hanji still saw the corpse. First they fought verbally and than Hanji act as if they didn't knew anything.
"I was too naive... That's why I'm in blame for his murder." Levi took calmly a sip of his tea. Sometimes I wondered what's hidden behind his poker face.