Cringy Cringe

Chapter 12

I woke up without Levi next to me. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.
Suddenly the door swung open.
"(y/n)!" Eren yelled.
"Eren? Why are you up already? It's still early." I asked still a little bit sleepy. Eren sat himself in front of me.
"I remembered something. When we were kidnapped, Ymir and Berthold were talking, do you remember?" the titan shifter sounded serious.
"Eren..." I whined.
Eren put his hands on my shoulders and stared in my eyes dead seriously. "(y/n), please try to remember."
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to think. I barely remembered anything about that day. Too much happened and I felt too many emotions.
Suddenly I froze. Shit. How could I forget such an important conversation?!
I stared at Eren. "Shit. I completely forgot this." I jumped up and walked to my bag to pull out a pen and a paper sheet.
"You remember it too?" Eren said in hope.
"Yeah. They talked about Ymir's time as a titan." I answered and gave him the pen and paper "I don't remember it that well tho. You should write it down and give it to Hanji."
Eren nodded and left the room with the items.
I sat down on my mat again and sighed again. It was way too early for something like that. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I forgot about that. Since when is my memory so bad?

The door opened again. This time, Levi entered.
"You're already awake." he pointed the oblivious out.
"Yeah.." I mumbled a bit bothered. He sat down next to me.
"Did something happen?" Levi asked.
"Kinda." I answered with a sigh. I pulled knees to my upper body and hugged them "I forgot an important conversation between Ymir and Berthold. If Eren didn't tried to remind me of it, I probably wouldn't have remembered it..."
Levi rubbed my back in an comforting way "About what was the conversation?"
"Eh about Ymir...before she turned into a titan shifter. She was a normal titan until she ate a friend of Berthold's. Eren probably could give you more details." I shrugged my shoulders "What about Sanes? Did he finally talk?"
"Yep. The Reiss family is the actual royal family." he answered. His arm snuck around.
I looked at him with big eyes.
"Woah, we have royalty in the squad without knowing it." I marveled but than I chuckled "We really do have a interesting squad. Two former criminals, a titan shifter and now a member of the actual royal family." At this point, Jean could actually be a horse disguised as a human. I wouldn't be surprised.
A small amused smile spread on Levi's face.

"Wow, Nifa, you ride the whole night. Must have been exhausting." I commended "You should rest later before you get sick."
Nifa just arrived from Erwin and everyone else slowly gathered inside the room to hear Erwin's next orders.
"Don't worry, I'm fine." she gave me a smile that I returned.
"By the way, how's Erwin? Did he seem fine?" I asked her a bit worried.
"Hm? He seemed fine to me. You don't have to worry."
I nodded understanding and gave her a small thank you. I left her and went to a corner. My back hit the walls and I crossed my arms.
Hanji left earlier, so they won't participate in it.
"Let's get to the point. Tell us what Erwin said." Levi demanded from Nifa.
She looked at the Reeves in question "And who are these...?"
"The Reeves." Levi answered "It's fine. Talk."
"O..okay."
"I can go outside. No problem." Reeves suggested and began to get up from his chair but Levi insisted him to stay even after his son Flegel disrespected him which made me chuckle a bit. I didn't saw Levi's darken expression for a while.
After our captain pointed the importance of the operation for both the company Reeves and the future of mankind, Reeves and his child stayed and listened.
All eyes were on Nifa again.
"...Okay." she began "It's about how we crown Historian as a queen."
The rest of the squad looked surprised. I peeked at Levi. Did he only tell me about it?
"Queen..?" Armin questioned in surprise.
Nifa turned to Levi "Levi, sir?"
Levi stayed quiet but broke it soon "My squad...do not know about it yet."
I sighed. Damn, Levi. They'll lose their trust in you if you do something like that.
"It seems the Fritz family isn't the royal family. They're only a deputy one." he explained "The real royal family is the Reiss family."
Historia looked shocked. Poor girl. But she wasn't the only shocked one. The rest of our squad and the Reeves were shocked.

"If I understood correctly, we should crown Historia...? Is that the main goal of the mission?" Armin asked.
"Correctly." Levi answered Armin and turned afterwards to Historian, making eye contact "What is your response to it, Historia?"
She broke the eye contact nervously. I could tell that this information was too much for her at the moment. I pitied her.
"Ah...I..." Historia stammered "Impossible... I cannot do this."
"Thought so." Levi stepped towards her "If you get suddenly told that you're the most powerful person of humanity...most people won't answer with 'okay, I don't mind'."
For a split second, he looked at me from the corner of his eyes.
Hm?
Oh right. I usually agreed to all of Levi's orders or requests without questions or hesitation, no matter how impossible or hard they seemed I'd do it. But even that was a bit too much for me. I wouldn't be a good king.
Levi stared down the future queen "But that's now irrelevant!" his stare got more intense and more intimating "Do it!"
Once again, she broke the eye contact with him "But... I cannot do that..."
"Not?" Levi questioned.
"I can't..no matter..." she replied.
All of the sudden, the squad leader grabbed her by her collar and lifted her up. Everyone including me stared at Levi in shock. I blinked a few times to shake the shock off. It was just an act of his. I saw worse.

"Uh..?! " came from the girl.
"Alright. Then run away." he demanded.
"Captain Levi?!" one of the younger ones yelled.
"Flee! Go away from here!" his demands turned into a threat "But we will catch you again and force you to listen to us no matter what. This seems to be your fate. And if you don't want that, fight."
"Let me go!" she demanded.
"Fight and defeat me!" he let her go.
She fell to the ground while coughing to get air back into her lungs. Armin and Sasha crouched down next to her in concern.
"Was that really needed?" Jean questioned.
"What do you guys think will happen tomorrow? Do you believe you will eat? Do you believe that you'll be sleeping in in a bed?" Levi bombarded them with those questions "Do you believe...that the person next to you will be standing on your side the next day?"
None of them answered.
"I don't. Surely a normal person won't waste a thought to these questions everyday... I'm just not normal, I'm different... Probably because I have witnessed so many perversions in my life. But... If wall Rose falls...and we're again in this situation, I will react faster than anyone else and fight. I'm ready to fight if this hell break loose again. Because there is no reason to expect that this massacre that you guys witnessed enough won't start tomorrow again. But..even though I want to end this state as fast as possible...there are people who set me back. For those I gladly take on the role of the mass murderer and see it to be my responsibility to at least punch them into their face. I on my part definitely prefer a massacre against humans over one against titans. Because then..not all of humanity need to take part in it. " Levi took a step closer to Historia" But now...we have the possibility to take control of this world under if this succeed..can all the people who would have died stay alive. Would be good, or wouldn't it..? And it depends just on you. Listen or fight. You have the free choice, so choose...but..." he crouched down in front of her and grabbed her head "choose now, we don't have time!"
"I do it!" Historia yelled back "My...next role is to be the queen, right..? I do it. I can do it."
"Good. Get up." Levi helped her up "I count on you... Historia."
"Yes." she responded.
The others stayed silent. Levi leaned against the wall next to Flegel who was clearly overwhelmed by what just happened. Levi shortly peeked at me. I gave him a small smile.
"Continue, Nifa." he said and refocused on her again.
Nifa continued with explaining Erin's strategy to us.
I just partly listen to her.

Levi's monologue still rang inside my head. Like him, I was ready to fight at any moment.
But...what if one day Levi died?
Would I regret not telling him my feelings for him?

I hate thinking about that.