Cringy Cringe

Chapter 11

I put down the chair inside the basement room. Prior, Levi asked me to get the room ready for the next step of the plan. I really didn't look forward to this part.
Levi came inside carrying a man with Hanji behind holding ropes in their hands. He put the man down on the chair and Hanji tied him up. I put a hand on my hips and gave them both a critical look.
"You guys sure you want to do this?" I asked again.
Levi pulled the portable table with various torture instruments closer.
"Yes." Hanji pressed their answer out. They were determined to do this. Probably as a form of revenge for Pastor Nick.
I let out a small sigh "Alright. Don't let it face you too much." I gave Hanji a kiss on their cheek.
Hanji jumped up and pulled me into a tight hug. "My sweetheart gave me a kiss!" they called out. They seemed a little less tense than before.
I chuckled and returned the hug. Levi shook his head slightly while watching us. I separated the hug and went to Levi to give him a kiss on the cheek too. He accepted the kiss and petted my head.
"You should leave before he wakes up." he told me. I nodded and left the room. At the door, I waved them a goodbye.
I closed the door behind me and sighed. While walking up the stairs, I could hear their muffled voices.
The door to the basement closed behind me and I slid down. I took a deep breath in and slowly released it.
I remembered the first time I witnessed someone getting tortured. It was in my early days as a thief. An client wanted me to steal back an important item from some gang leader. During my heist, the leader was in the middle of torturing a young woman. It wasn't pretty to see, especially if you're still a child. It hunted me for days.
I stood up and walked away from the door in search of a bookshelf. I didn't feel like sleeping nor socialising.
It didn't take me long to find one. I just grabbed a random book and sat down on the floor in a corner.
It wasn't an interesting one but kind of fitting. A love story of two childhood friends.
As if Levi would ever return my feelings. He probably saw me as a brother or just his best friend. Yeah, he told me he loved me but it was probably just platonic love.
I let out a sigh and closed the book. Great, now I was kinda depressed.
I returned the book and decided to check on the younger squad members.
"We're.. already criminals now. Our current enemy aren't monster who we kill because they would eat us if we didn't." sounded Armin's voice out of one of the rooms.
I stopped and began to eavesdrop.
"They're our enemy because they think different... Or maybe because they're on the wrong side... It possible that we'll... be killing other people because of those reasons..." Armin continued with his monologue "We aren't good people anymore."
I sighed. I pitied them but there also was a small part of envy.
They never witnessed the gruelty of humans. They only knew the one of titans.
"Maybe we also have to kill them because they would kill us instead. Titans aren't the only ones killing humans. Humans kill humans too." I pointed out while I stood in the doorway. "Yeah, we aren't the good ones anymore but were we ever the good ones?" I continued "In my opinion, good people are a rarity and I'm certainly not part of this rarity." I let out a small laugh "Heck I was a thief before joining the survey corps." I turned more serious "But it's good if you guys feel that way. Hold onto it."
They all stared at me.
"You were a thief...?" Connie asked unsure.
"Yeah, I grew up in the underworld like Levi and the job offers down there aren't the best...especially for children." my last part was mumbled. I shrugged my shoulders "It's late. We should go to sleep soon." I gave them a smile and wished them all a good night before I left the room and walked to the room I was supposed to sleep in.
This whole situation reminded me too much of my childhood and my past in the underworld.

Arriving in the small room, I put on something more comfortable. After that was done I laid down on the mat I laid out earlier. It wasn't really comfortable but it was manageable.
The moment I closed my eyes the door opened. I looked shortly and saw Levi entering.
"Where you asleep already?" he asked.
"Nah, you entered just in time." I answered with a small smile while sitting up halfway.
He nodded.
"We need to continue it tomorrow." he told me while pulling some clothes out of his bag.
I nodded slightly. "I hope your acting was believing. It would suck if we went to this length and don't get our answers." He raised his eyebrow at me and I gave him a teasing grin.
Levi began to change his clothes. I let myself fall back down on the mat and put my arm over my eyes.
I hear Levi putting his mat out next to mine and spreading his blanket and pillow out. The rustling next to me indicated that Levi finally laid down. I pulled my arm down and rolled to my side to face Levi. There was no space between our mats. Did he sneak comfort from me? Back then, we often shared a bed and cuddled as a way of comfort.
"Just like a sleep over." I snickered "Next step would be talking about our crushes."
"What weird romance did you read this time?" Levi turned to me and flicked my forehead. I burst into laughers.
He laid down on his back again with a hint of a smile. After I calmed down I laid my head on his chest and stared up to the ceiling.
"Hey Levi..." I whispered sleepy "No matter how dirty you are, no matter how much blood you have on your hands I'll love you nonetheless. I'll love you forever. Even if you're for some people are a monster, as long as you're the Levi I know, my love for you won't change..."
Levi pulled me closer and pressed a gentle kiss on top of my head. I put my arm over his stomach and drifted off into sleep.

~Bonus time~
Levi's fingers went up and down your side. His mind went back to a past conversation with Hanji.

"How long are you two together?" Hanji jumped out of nowhere. Levi gave them a annoyed look and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"With who?"
"You and (y/n)." Hanji answered "You guys always look so in love together, especially (y/n)."
Levi blinked surprise. Did you?
"We are friends, not lovers." he stated.
"Oh." Hanji was a bit embarrassed now and tried to laugh it off "Hehe w-well." They soon left claiming they still have a lot of work to do.
Levi stayed back in deep thoughts.

Levi payed closer attention to you since then. Every time you looked at him, your eyes were brighter and more loving than when you looked at someone else. You were also more affectionate to him than to your other friends.
Levi slowly figured out that you were in love with him.
It wasn't a secret for him that he also had strong feelings for you. You weren't just a friend for him. You were much more than that. You were precious to him. You were like his treasure. His light in darkness. You were the most important thing in his life.
He couldn't even bare the thought of losing you.
He slowly got up, making sure not to disturb your sleep. He needed to get back to the basement soon.
He just needed your warmth, your comfort after the torture session. He was fine to become a monster to get closer to the goal but at the end of the day he sneaked your comfort.
Levi gave you a small and loving kiss on your forehead before silently leaving the room.