Fix Me: Bucky Barnes x OC (MCU)

Chapter 10

A/N: AYOOOO LAST CHAPTER, also can you please read the end A/N (next page) because it speaks about other bucky imagines

Warnings: torture, swearing,

Word count: 1097

Pain. Everywhere. All through my body, drilling into my bones, tearing at my skin. I know I'm screaming. I know that I'm crying. I know that I want it to stop. I know that I can make it stop by giving in. By answering their stupid questions. But if I do, the Avengers will die. And I didn't get James free just to get him killed. So the pain just continues. And of course it hurts. Of course it does. But never enough to kill my need to protect the Avengers. Never enough to blot out the memories of James that keep me company along with their blindingly white lab coats. Because behind their determination isn't friendship, isn't love, and those are all I need to keep the feeling of James' strong arms around me like a fortress when they finally leave me alone.

Until whatever is causing it stops. Completely stops. A small cry leaves my lips because the pain still rips through me as I open my eyes. I see Loki, doing some fancy shit to the HYDRA scientists. And then James, my James, rushes over, scooping me into his arms. I scream as he does, because it makes my wounds sing with pain. But I fight through it, because I need my arms around his neck, so I can inhale his scent, wind and storms and James.

'Minka,' he murmurs over and over, pressing his face into my matted hair, and I want him to hold me tighter, but I know it'll hurt if he does -

'James,' my voice is cracked with the screaming, but his name soothes me like nothing else can. I struggle to keep my eyes open, wanting one last thing before I pass out. Slowly, gritting my teeth, I lift my head. A tear slips down my face as I get what I want: a glimpse of those storm tossed eyes before everything dissolves into darkness.

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I wake up slowly, feel the pain shoot through me as I squint open my eyelids, muscles tensing, momentarily forgetting they saved me. But then I see the sterile white lights, and then Bruce's face looking down at me, then away as he scrawls something down on a clipboard.

'Bruce?' I croak, but it comes out more like 'Uhse?'

'How do you feel, Minka?'

I groan in reply, closing my eyes. 'Light's too bright.'

Somehow, he understands my slurred speech, and they dim a bit. 'Quite the hero you are, hey?' He chuckles. 'They tortured you. A lot.'

'Tell me about it,' I snark, somehow able to have humour while my body is basically screaming.

'Actually, I'd rather not. Made even me pretty queasy just patching you up.'

'How long was I out?'

'A day and a half,' he says. 'HYDRA obviously didn't tell you they altered you so you regenerate pretty quick.'

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Bruce was right. I heal quickly. I'm around half Asgardian wolf, after all. And HYDRA - ed. So the fact that I can physically walk around the Stark Tower and still somehow be avoided by James is literally impossible. I'm perfectly capable of tracking him down, and so are most of the Avengers, but... For two fucking days, since I've been out of bed, he's avoided me. He's got a reason for that. And evidently, I'm not the only one being avoided, because Steve asks to talk to me.

'You seen Buck?'

'No,' I tell him. 'But he's definitely here. I can tell. His scent is still fresh around the Tower.'

'Don't you think you should talk to him?'

'Why don't you, Steve?'

'I - I just... I know he's guilty about you. He won't speak to any of us. Nat said she saw him in the kitchen the other night, making himself a drink. He barely spared her a glance before leaving the room. She said he looked bad. I don't think he's had any sleep since before we rescued you.'

'I'll wait another day,' I reply. 'He's avoiding us because he doesn't want to see us. Just... give him space.'

'But - '

'Please, Steve.'

He shakes his head.

'Fine.'

---------------

I sit in my room, thinking over our conversation. Isn't two days far more than enough to stew in your own guilt before someone should intervene? But... But James wants to be left alone... Doesn't he? Or is he silently pleading for someone to find him and make him have some human interaction? I scrub a hand over my face and jump down from my bed, landing on four paws not two feet.

In my wolf form, I pad silently through the corridors of the Stark Tower, finding the freshest trail that James left. My claws patter on the pristine tiles as I lope around with my nose to the floor, following James' scent. Honestly, I'm surprised when I follow it straight to my room. Shifting, I open the door quietly, wondering what I'll see. All I can say is that it is definitely not what I expect.

James, on his knees, fists clenched in one of my shirts, face pressed to the material, breathing my scent. His back's to me, but I can tell by the way his shoulders are shaking that he's crying.

'James,' I whisper, my heart aching for him.

'Go away.'

A small, mirthless laugh leaves me. 'This is my room, James.'

'Don't call me that.'

'Why?'

'You can't be mine any more. I'll just end up hurting you.'

I bite down hard on my lip. Oh, James. I walk over and kneel beside him, where I can see his tears leaking into my shirt as he slowly inhales my scent.

'I don't care if you hurt me, James. I'll always be yours.'

A sob breaks from him, muffled by the shirt. 'You don't deserve me. I'm too broken.'

I almost slap him. Almost. 'James,' I growl through gritted teeth. 'Don't you dare - '

'Please go,' he whimpers.

'James,' I soften my voice a little. 'You remember when Bruce got me the nightmare potion thing?'

'Don't speak to me.'

'And you said they broke your mind?'

'Please, Minka.'

'I didn't see a broken man. I saw one I could fix.'

Gently, I ease my arms around him, and he sobs, pressing his face into my shoulder. A sad smile pulls at my lips, and I run a hand through his soft brown hair. Yeah, we both hate ourselves, we're both broken, but we've got each other, and that's all I want.

'I love you, James.'

'I love you too, Minka.'