Until My Final Breath - Max Verstappen (I)

F O U R T E E N

I was scrolling through my Instagram page while holding Max' hand. He could be waking up every moment, so I wanted to make sure he'd notice I was there when he opened his eyes. I wanted to send my mom an update about his condition when I felt a light squeeze in my hand. I looked up and I saw his bright blue eyes look right into mine. "Hey" he said, and gave me a little smile. I stood up and went to gave him a hug. "Hey Max, welcome back." I said while hugging him. I was crying, but I tried to keep my sobs as quiet as I could so he wouldn't notice it. "Kleine, please don't cry." he said when he noticed my not-so-silent sobs. Mission failed, I thought by myself and I broke the hug. "I'm sorry. The past few hours have been absolute hell for me." I said, and he grabbed my hand. "I get that, but it's over now." he tried to calm me down. 

He finished his sentence and before I could answer, the doctor walked in. 

"Hello Mr. Verstappen. Glad to see that you're awake. How do you feel?" 

"My leg hurts a bit, but apart from that I feel fine."

"Good. You broke your leg and needed surgery for that, but I think you'll be able to go home tomorrow afternoon."

"One little thing, I live in Monaco. How will I be able to drive there with this big cast on my leg?"

"Max, please don't act so silly. You can stay with me and my parents here in Bruges as long as you want."

"Do you still want me in your house?"

"Ofcourse, why wouldn't I?"

"After everything that happened?"

I sighed. Here. We. Go. AGAIN. 

"I'll leave you two alone, please come get me if you need something." the doctor said, and he walked out. 

"You just move in here in Bruges with me and my parents until you're better. I don't care if you like it or not." I said and he chuckled. "I'd love to. Thank you, Joy. I don't know what I'd do without you." he said. 

A few hours later I went back home for the night. Before I went to bed I updated my parents about Max' situation and told them I offered him to stay with us as long as he wants to. Of course my parents did not have anything against that, so that was good. 

My mom prepared some things for him such as preparing the couch for him to spend most of his time in. 

The next morning I woke up a lot earlier than normal, because I'd pick up Max from the hospital. I went downstairs to make some breakfast, and chatted with my parents. When I was about to go upstairs to take a shower, I saw I had a message. It was one from Lando. 

landonorris: Hey Joy, I hope you and Max are doing allright. I just wanted to let you know that since a few days, I have a girlfriend. I hope you're not mad at me and maybe I gave you some wrong signals, but I hope we can stay friends? 

Oh. Oh God. I really did not expect this, atleast not this early. But this was a good thing, because it confirmed my decision. The decision of my heart. 

joydevreese: I'm so happy for you Lando! You deserve it! And of course we can stay friends, I'd love to! 

Since Max' accident my heart knew for sure that it belong with Max. It's weird, you know. That a fucking accident is the thing that opened my eyes. I've known him all my life, and only now it began to make sense. He was always there for me. Always. He fought my bullies when I couldn't, protected me, loved me and helped me. He'd seen me at my highest and my lowest, and never judged me. When I got raped and locked myself in my room for three weeks, he was the only one who was allowed to see me. The only one I trusted in that moment. He sat down on my bed with me in his arms, hugging me. Giving me kisses on my temple and constantly telling me that everything was going to be allright. He told me he loved me, and that he'd do that until his final breath. In that moment I just accepted those words and thought he was only saying that to give me a good feeling, but now I realized that he meant every single word he said. Those words came straight out of his heart, and I didn't realize it. 

Somewhere I regret that, not realizing earlier what Max means to me. I fell for Lando, hard. But now I know that that was just me trying not to see that I was in love with Max. I knew that I was head over heels for him, but I didn't wanna know. Because I was scared. What if he doesn't love me back? What if our friendship will never be the same after this? What if he hurts me? Those were the questions and scenarios that I had in my mind. But now I realized he loved me back, I'd never let him go. I wanted him, more than ever. 

After a few minutes of thinking, I went upstairs to take a shower. I got dressed and took Jasper, my dog, with me in my car. I drove to the hospital and parked my car as close to the building as possible, so that Max wouldn't have to walk too far with his leg. I'd probably bring him in a wheel chair or something. 

I walked to his room together with Jasper, and when I walked in I saw that he was already waiting for me, ready to go home. 

"Hey there, look who I brought!" I said and looked down to my beautiful Shiba Inu. When Jasper saw Max he ran over to him and jumped on his lap, licking his face. "Hey Jasper, good to see you buddy! Are you also gonna keep me some company when I'm staying with you and your family?" he asked my doggo, and like Jasper understood what Max said he started barking and licking his face even more. "Ready to go?" I asked Max, and he nodded. I brought him to my car and helped him in. When he sat comfortable I made my way over to the driver's side and drove home. 

When we arrived home I brought Max inside where my parents were already waiting for him. My mom baked his favorite cake for him and my dad made sure that there were enough things he could do from the couch. He carefully selected some movies and series on Netflix and looked when there where some football games and cycling races they could watch together. 

When installed him on the couch and my dog immediately got on his lap, waiting to be petted by Max. We chilled together with my parents the whole day and chatted about some memories we had together. Around 11PM my parents went to bed and so did I. Max decided to sleep on the couch as that was the most comfortable for him. 

I woke up around 2 in the morning after having a nightmare. It was about Dylan and I was sweating like I just ran 2 marathons, so I decided to go downstairs to get some water. I tried to be as silent as I could so I'd not wake up Max, who was sleeping downstairs. But when I walked into the living room, I saw that he was awake. 

"Hey, what are you doing up?" he asked. "I could ask you the same." I answered him and he chuckled. "I can't sleep because my foot hurts pretty bad." he said, and I nodded. "Oh that sucks. I had a nightmare so I was going to get some water." he nodded. When I walked back with my glass of water I was about to go upstairs again, when he said something. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep again?" he asked. "I don't think so. It was a pretty bad nightmare." I answered him and he gave me a warm smile. "Come here, you can sleep with me. I'll hold you." he said, and I made my way over to the couch. I carefully crawled next to him, I didn't want him to have more pain because of me. He grabbed my waist and I placed my head on his chest, just like we used to do when we had a sleepover together. 

"Much better." he said, causing me to chuckle. "Goodnight Joy, don't hesitate to wake me up when you have another nightmare. I'm right here." he said. "Goodnight Max."

Should I say it? I didn't want to ruin the moment, but what if it made it even better?

"Max?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too Joy."