𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 [a rini au]

FORTY-SEVEN

          It was almost one in the morning when Ricky pulled his bedroom door open for Nini, and although he anticipated to see her covered in sorrow, the sight was more unbearable than he theorized.

          Ricky didn't even realize it was raining until he greeted a dripping wet Nini. Her sopping chocolate locks were drowning in a limp ponytail, face-framing pieces matted to her red cheeks. The mascara she once wore was pooling in her under eyes, staining black dots on her quivering upper lip. All she wore was her cheer uniform, the only warmth comforting her being a thin, white long sleeve under her tank top. Her little legs were shaking just as her arms were, and if it weren't for Ricky standing there, she would've collapsed onto the floor.

          Ricky caught the girl in his arms just in time, heart shattering every time he felt her heave against his body. He didn't mind that she was soaking his pajamas in water now. He just wanted to make sure that he was hugging her tight enough so she could feel truly safe. With Nini's head buried in the crevice of his neck, his skin unable to differentiate between the feelings of rain and tears, Ricky delicately rubbed Nini's back as he attempted to verbally communicate with her. "Nini....you're soaked. Let me get you something to wear."

          "N–no," Nini's teeth chattered, the girl panicking as she felt Ricky beginning to pull away. She locked her hands together that were around his waist, squeezing him tighter. "Just....please let me just stay here."

          She clung to him like she was a parasite, but one that Ricky was beyond willing to host. Carefully, he directed the girl towards his bed, where he guided her to sit down beside him. She was weak, body still covered in chills as she tried to lean against him. He didn't want to break the silence that Nini seemed to be content with, but he knew how unhealthy it was to be trapped in your own thoughts; he was a victim of it all the time.

          Ricky's fingers were fragile against her goosebump-lined forearm. "Do you want to talk about it?" he whispered. "Tell me how I can help?"

           Nini lifted her head from his shoulder for the first time since she arrived, gazing up at his naturally pink cheeks with her cherry-stained eye sockets. "It's Charlie....I think we're done."

          Ricky hated himself for feeling relief first after her admission. He wanted to grieve for her, he did, but Charlie was hurting her too often. He was one of the reasons why Nini was so obsessed with maintaining her good girl image, yet a reason why that image was obliterated behind the scenes. Ricky didn't think this day would truly come, since he never thought Nini was stop playing her part. But, he subconsciously vowed that it didn't matter where that label would take her, for he would go wherever she was.

          "It was about you," her voice was shaky. "H–he was upset about you. How we spend a lot of t–time together."

          The guilt kicked in for the curly-headed boy. "I didn't want to cause a riff between you two, really," he emphasized, making sure to get his point across that no matter how desperately he crushed on Nini, he would never come between what she had with Charlie, even if what she had might not be good for her. He didn't want to conflict with her living her life.

          "B–but that's the problem," Nini continued, earning some strength back as she decided to support her own weight underneath her. "I don't want him to be upset about me, the people I want to surround myself with....if they aren't elite. A–as much as I want that, it's so hard to accept....that I'm becoming someone new, i–in a way."

          Ricky couldn't help but think he was the reason why she felt this need to reinvent herself. It scared him, especially when he recalled Carlos' words back on Halloween. "And it's terrifying that this is happening just as my friend group seems to be falling apart," she elaborated, tone hardening. "I don't know what's going on, but things are going on, and it's all happening while I'm trying to figure out what I really want to be."