The other Stark (long) (Wanda x reader)

Burden

TW selfharm ⚠️

Wanda pov

All that is in my head is what i 'accidently' heard Tony think. To my defence he was thinking very loud. But it's all i can think about as i let the steaming hot water fall down my body in the shower. Only if she would like me like that, i wish. But i know how you are, your a flirt. Like Tony was before Pepper, he still is but never acts on it. And i hear it got worse after the accident.

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In the corner of my eye i can see the razor blade on the sink. You had been in and taken all of the sharp objects in my room, i noticed. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come back so soon. Maybe i would be with my brother. Realise you of the burden of me.

I shut of the running hot water, wrap a pink towel around me. Meeting my tearful eyes in the mirror. I hadn't noticed i'd started to cry. My gaze comes back to the blade even though i try to resist. Pietro wouldn't want me to. But maybe i should just get it over with, it's not like anyone's gonna miss me or can stop me. Maybe you and Nat would for a little time but you two don't know me enough to actually miss me for a longer time. Maybe if you felt the same thing i felt as soon as i sat my eyes on you, but obviously you don't. It's part of your charm to act out on your thoughts. Just one cut and i could end this...

"Wanda? Everything okay, you've been in there for thirty minutes" your soothing voice is heard through the bathroom door. I didn't hear you coming. I can't hear you at all, and it's actually very. I don't know but i don't like not being able to read someone.

"Yeah" i answer, looking down at the blade that's started to pierce through my skin. Letting a small stripe of blood run out and drop down on the floor. Maybe, just maybe it'll be good.

"I'mma join you for dinner again, since you still don't wanna eat with the others" i can't believe how you even can stand me, i wouldn't. Definitely don't with the past you have i wouldn't think you'd still be nice.

"You really don't have to y/n, i'll be fine so you can eat with the others"

"You know you don't have to be able to read someone's mind to get that you're lying" well i still can't read yours. We'll i've never said i was a good liar. "Wanna talk about it"

"No really i'm okay, i promise" i want to wipe away the tears but if i move either of my hands more blood will run. "You should go back down to the others, i'll come down as soon as i've put on some clothes."

"You're absolutely sure. You don't have to"

"Yeah, 100%" the small sting of pain the cut gives a special feeling, like i'm finally feeling something else. I know i've been feeling a lot lately but it's the only feeling i can pinpoint. But the feeling quickly fades and the indescribable feelings come back. I know I shouldn't again but it felt so good. Not at all like the first time i hurt myself, when you took all sharp objects from my room. But it's better than anything else because i know what i'm feeling, it's not tifty different things at the same time, it's like a kind of harmony in a storm. All i know now is that i need to feel that again.
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y/n pov

"So? Where's the girlfriend" my marvellous but annoying brother asks me as i enter the dining room. He has a smirk on his face that i just roll my eyes at.

"Who?" i meet his gaze as i sit down at the end of the table, Tony at the other end with an empty chair for Pepper next to him. I have one next to me too, from when my best friend Emila used to live with us. Before she... left us too young. Okay, maybe she was more than my best friend, but to be fair we're young and crazy in love. Or at least I thought.

"Wanda's not my girlfriend" i say as i let myself out of that horrible walk down memory lane.

"Who said it was Wanda" he answers with a smirk like he actually thinks that. Like he thinks a beautiful and amazing girl like Wanda Maximoff could like me, troubled, depressed and damaged.

"No, because then you would be a cheater since the last three girls, left a few hours ago" Nat cuts in with a smile and i throw a breadstick at her while she laughs.

"Your like Tony before Pepper" Nat mumbles under her breath even though everyone can hear her loud and clear.

"Before me and Tony what?" Pepper asks as she also comes into the dining room, sitting down next to Tony with a kiss on the cheek. That makes his ears reader then his suit.

"She said she just need a little more time, just give her that"

"Ooh, protective girlfriend mode activated" Tony jokes in a robot voice and i throw another breadstick at him, making him laugh even more.

"Are you sure she can be left unsupervised" Steve asks but before anyone gets the chance to enter i notice the aubruned hair girl entering the room.

"Sorry, i got lost" she says with a weak voice, pulling down her sleeves even more. I gesture for her to sit down next to me and it doesn't feel wrong she sits in Emila's chair. Nat actually is the only one to notice the no change in me for sitting there.

"As i said, protective gi..." i cut him off by running past, dragging the chair from under him at the other side of the table. And even before he starts to fall i'm back in my chair. As i said, faster by every day. But i let out a laugh as he takes his seat again.

"And i said, shut up"

"You actually never said that" Nat says with an innocent smile, putting her hands up in defence. In case i would get it in my mind to throw another breadstick.

"Could we just eat" Everyone goes kinda quiet and i notice Wanda, poking around the food on her plate. The long sleeves almost all the way over her hands, my favorite grey shirt i let her borrow. Somehow i can think back to just a few minutes earlier. How the sting on my wrist made me rush to her room to make sure she was okay. But i guess feelings make me paranoid. Paranoia and emotions I don't understand, not a good combination for me.