Athena

13. Like a Sledgehammer

Cruz walks beside me on the narrow sidewalk. Cookie cutter houses, each one with similar shades of cream-colored stucco walls and reddish Spanish tiled roofs, line both sides of the street. A cloudless blue sky stretches overhead. The morning air feels crisp and comfortable against my face. It's perfect weather for a stroll. I don't have a destination in mind. I don't feel like talking. I don't want to think.

I just want to find some peace for a while.

Cruz seems to pick up on my withdrawn mood. He doesn't try to make conversation, and I'm grateful for the silence between us.

A few minutes later, we end up at a small private park in our subdivision. I take a seat on a park bench. He sits down next to me. There are trees all around us. Yellowing leaves sway in the breeze. A manmade lake shimmers beneath the sunlight.

My mind feels quieter here.

Soon, my eyelids begin to droop. My head feels as heavy as a ton of bricks. I guess this wave of exhaustion has been long overdue. I haven't slept in over twenty four hours.

God, I'd kill for a nap right now.

I'm so out of it that I don't even realize that Cruz is watching me closely. He remarks, "You look kinda tired. Wanna head back?"

There's too much baggage waiting for me to unpack at home.

"Not yet," I insist, "I like it here."

"Suit yourself."

Time slips by in calming beats. I bask in the calm. I'm not ready to leave yet, but it's getting harder and harder to stay awake. My head starts to nod this way and that way. Before I realize it, I'm dozing off, drifting in and out of a sleepy lull. Eventually, my cheek lands on something warm and solid. It's comfortable here. I decide to rest against it for a while and doze some more. I don't know how much time passes by, but, when I awaken, I feel much more refreshed and alert.

Cruz's voice rumbles wryly beside me, "Oh, good. You're up. My arm was getting numb."

I realize, then, that I've been using him as a pillow. Embarrassed, I immediately pull away and sit up, ramrod straight, taking care not to touch him anymore.

Sheepishly, I apologize, "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

"It's fine," he replies in unbothered tones, "are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah, actually, I am."

"I take it," Cruz observes, "you didn't sleep very well last night?"

"I couldn't sleep, like, at all," I confess glumly.

"I didn't sleep much, either."

I glance over. "Really? How come?"

He gives me a look as though I'm not very bright. "Because of you, Athena."

I purse my lips. "Oh."

He couldn't sleep because of... me?

What does he mean by this?

Up until Sam's party, Cruz didn't want anything to do with me, so I'm really not sure where I stand with him right now. I understand he's a decent enough person to set aside grudges for a night when I needed someone to rescue me from Chrissa and Brody, but I expected him to step away from this role once my crisis was over.

I squint at him. "Do you like me or something?"

His green eyes go wide as though I caught him by surprise. "What?"

"Well, do you?" I prompt.

He has the nerve to laugh at my question, "Oh, fuck, no. You're not my type, Athena. No offense, but I like my girls a little less chaotic."