Athena

43. Close Enough For What?

As stealthily as possible, I find myself slipping inside Cruz's room, shutting and locking the door behind me. My movements are almost undetectable, practically noiseless, but my heart pumps anxiously in my chest, nonetheless. I'm so fucking nervous.

Is this how Cruz feels every time he sneaks into my room?

I shuffle towards his bed. His body is outlined beneath the covers. Even in the shadows, I can make out the rise and fall of his chest. I then take a deep breath and, before I lose my nerve, climb onto the mattress beside him.

I'm going to tell him about Persie.

I'm going to let him decide whether or not he still wants me.

If he chooses to stay with me, then I'm going to go balls to the wall and make these next few months as memorable and special as possible for the both of us.

As the springs creak beneath my weight, Cruz stirs with a confused, groggy-sounding mumble, "Athena... is that you?"

I whisper, "Yeah, it's me."

His brow furrows. It's immediately followed by a frown. He demands, "What are you—"

I panic a little at Cruz's not-so-warm reception.

Is he going to send me away?

I don't give him a chance to finish his sentence. The words burst out of me in a hurry, "I hate the way we left things earlier."

Cruz grunts, "Huh?"

He sounds half-asleep.

With an earnest expression, I confess, "I came to find you again because I didn't wanna leave the wrong impression. I care about you, Cruz. Please believe me when I say that I wanted to tell you about Persie sooner, but—"

My voice trembles slightly as my breath catches with emotion.

His eyes widen in concern as he pulls me towards him, tucking me into his arms. "Hey, it's okay..."

"No, it's not," I mutter unhappily. "Nothing feels okay right now."

I'm dreading to tell him about my intentions to adopt Persie because, afterwards, I don't know if he'll want to keep dating me.

What if Cruz wants to break up?

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach at this depressing possibility.

Oblivious to my internal turmoil, Cruz plants a comforting kiss on my temple and murmurs, "Relax, baby. Everything is fine now."

Does he really mean it?

I can't help but doubt him.

"You seemed a little upset when you left my room, though," I comment with worried eyes. "Are you still... upset?"

Cruz flashes me a look of discomfort. "I admit, I felt like you were kicking me out earlier, and I was really surprised to learn that you had a sister. It caught me off guard. And it sucked not knowing about someone who was so important to you—until now. So, yeah, I was a little upset. But not anymore. I'm really happy that you came. To find me."

"Yeah?" I ask tentatively.

"Yeah," he confirms with a smile. "Stay with me tonight. We can sort this shit out tomorrow."

Tomorrow?

No, that won't do.

I cough. "Actually..."

"What?"

Anxiety fills my chest when I request, "Do you think we can talk about it... now? Or are you too tired?"