Her Last Words |✔

Part 2

Dear, Benjamin
             
So, I will start with the cliche dialogue,  I mean Ben if  you are reading this letter that means I am dead, gone. And if I know you correctly, which I do, it means that you are brooding because today was my funeral.

I just hope that no one told you that you were prepare for this outcome. Because no one is ever prepare for shit like this, I know I will be not prepare when I take my last breath, and you will be not prepare when you see me taking my last breath. But if people say something like this don't worry if I became a ghost I will haunt that people for one whole night and take the revenge.

You are in a unfamiliar territory now Ben. You know people take life insurance to make sure their loved ones are financially secure. But there is no insurance for emotional security. And you are emotionally insecure now. But don't act out like a newly hormonal teenager. Please Don't push people away Benny. And please don't bottle up your feelings. Grieve me freely, cry for me, Miss me. But don't hide.

Try to move on, and I am not telling you to go out tomorrow and start dating, No, but moving on doesn't always mean dating, according to me it just mean that accepting the changes in the life and trying to accommodate with it.

When I first came to know about the cancer, I thought why this is happening,  I was upset and angry that I wouldn't be able to live with you untill we are old and gray. But I was more angry that you will be left behind with mountain of hurt and sorrow and why this is happening to you. But then I thought that my lifespan was decided before I was born and that God always new I have to say goodbye to earth early than most and he wanted me to be loved in the time I have on earth, so he gave me great parents, great friends and best husband. Because God knew that you will love me till I take my last breath. Because our time spend together, our memories are worth everything.

You have lot of love to give Ben so don't close that heart just because it's scarred right now. Don't deprive some lucky girl of your love just because you will feel you are betraying me. I made you happy Ben, but that lucky girl whoever she is will make you happy. And I want you happy and loved till you take your last breath.

Don't serial date like the male leads from the books I used to read. Don't became a jerk in the name of grief because you are not that.

Love is love Ben there is no first or second in that, remember this. Take one day at a time, and when the day will seem too long take one minute at a time.
Try to heal that scarred heart my Ben.

I will always love you Ben, and you will always love me but remember I'll be dead and you will be alive.

I LOVE YOU TO THE STARS AND BACK,
BENJAMIN JULIUS SAWYER !!!!

I'LL MISSSSSS YOU!!!

Yours,
          Ella Eleanor Sawyer.

P.S:- When/If you find that lucky girl she will get an letter too but I am not gonna tell you when because, its a secret!!!

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