Some Dreams Don't Come True

Chapter Four

✨Katsuki Bakugo's POV✨
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After we ate Deku turned on the giant TV in his bedroom and pulled up Netflix. He handed me the remote, "Pick whatever you think looks interesting." He smiled.

I didn't watch TV much before so I wasn't sure what to pick. I ended up settling for a show called "The Office."

"You like comedies?" Deku asked.

"Yeah." I replied, feeling comfortable enough to lay my head on Deku's lap.

His fingers gently combed through my hair as we watched the show. I couldn't help but feel insecure... I felt like I should be doing something for him, the fact he hadn't even tried to use me put me on edge. He keeps saying that it's okay, and that I don't have to... but I feel like it's just how my brain has become hardwired.

"Deku..." I said softly, getting his attention, "it's... it's really okay that... we don't have sex?" I asked, my voice cracking near the end.

"Yes of course it's okay. You don't have to do anything like that if you don't want to Kacchan. It's your body, no one will abuse it again... I promise." His voice made me feel at ease.

"But... does that mean you never want to?" I asked... Maybe he doesn't find me sexually appealing, my body is in bad shape...

"I... I didn't say I didn't want to... you just have been through so much. Your body needs time to heal, you need time to process everything... it's not a good idea to be having sex right now." He sighed, "Besides all of that... I would love to cherish you, and your body one day but not until you are fully ready for that."

"I'm not that weak... I could handle it if you needed it."

"It's not about handling it Kacchan. It's about you being okay after everything that's happened to you."

"I... I don't understand..." I felt tears burning in my eyes, why did I feel like this all the time now.

If I'm not being touched I feel worthless. At the same time, the thought of having sex right now terrifies me. I hated this... I just want... I don't even know what I want.

"Come here..." his voice was gentle and not demanding.

I sat up, and he pulled me into his lap, holding me close to his chest. I rested my head against him, listening carefully to his heartbeat as he held me. Being like this at least... made me feel a little better about it all. He wouldn't hold me like this if he hated me, or wanted me to leave... Right?

"Everything will be okay... You'll see, you're going to get stronger and feel better and better as the days go by." He sounded so sure.

"How do you kn-know?" My voice was shaking, and I gripped onto his shirt more.

"You're the strongest person I know. You've beat the odds time and time again through my time knowing you... I know you will pull through anything." I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"I just..." I raised up looking at him, his green eyes were always so pretty... "Can... can we kiss again?"

"If you want to..." he said softly.

I felt nervous as I leaned toward him pressing our lips together, his lips were so soft. His hands wrapped around the small of my waist as we continued to kiss. I felt content in this... Loved even... No one had ever treated me so gently before, and I started to crave Deku's touch more than anything... even if it was just as simple as holding my hand.

The kiss didn't last too long, but it was enough. Deku pulled me close to him again, and I found myself nuzzling into his neck. He was so warm, and I guess he knew I was cold because he pulled the blankets up over us, wrapping me up to my shoulders in them.

"You can get some rest if you need to." Deku said, "I've got you."

"Thank you..." I mumbled, my eyes closing slowly. It wasn't long until sleep over took me.