Angelo Vander
"Goodbye, Angelo. I hope you will find your happiness." I was dying inside but she doesn't need to know that.
She opened her arms widely and hugged me. I patted her back and she pulled back.
"I'll be watching you from afar. Thankyou for everything." She said and I nodded. She walked to the car and she looked at me one last time before getting in. She closed the car door and drove away.
I looked at the car until it can't be seen anymore. My chest starting to hurt and I got into my car. I drove to the headquarters and Dean was already standing there to greet me.
"You made the right choice." Dean said and I nodded. Dean went to his lab and I went straight to my office. I found a white envelope on the table and it was an invitation to Adrian's wedding.
I looked at it blankly and I wondered what Phoenix and Adrian were thinking when they decided to leave. I love Dean and Dakota equally.
Dean is indeed my brother who saved me. Without him, I wouldn't be here. He helped me go through a lot and he sacrificed a lot of things for us. I owe him my life.
Dakota is the woman that I love. The one and only. She was the person who help me cope with life when I was in highschool. She changed a lot of perspective in life.
I took out my phone and found myself.. dialing Adrian's phone number.
"Hello." Adrian answered.
"Hey."
"Are you okay? You don't sound okay.."
"Congratulations.. on the wedding." I said.
"Thankyou, Angelo. I wish you could come."
"Yeah." I was debating whether to ask him or not.
"Hey, are you really okay?" He asked once again.
"I'm good, just want to say congratulations."
"Thankyou, Angelo. I really miss you.. I wish I bid my goodbyes to you before leaving."
"It's okay, I understand."
"Is Dean.. you know.."
"No.." I lied.
"Okay."
"I'm happy for you, take care." I said and ended the call. I opened the invitation and can't help but really happy for him. I wish I have the guts to do it like him.
I decided to find Dean and see what is he doing in his lab. I went down and put on my lab coat. I entered his lab and he was on his computer.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Just programming something.." He said and I grabbed a seat and sat beside him.
"Adrian sent us an invitation.." I said and Dean turned to me.
"We're not going." He said and turned back to the computer.
"Dean."
"Hmm?"
"We.. can't be happy huh?" I asked and Dean let out a long sigh.
"We deserve to be happy but.. not in this life."
"Don't you want to have a family?"
"No, I will live alone and die alone." He said and I got up from my seat.
"ILLICIT is my life, I don't need anyone to be with me." He hissed as I walked to his shelf.
"I don't understand clearly why you made those rules."
"It's actually me, you and Chance who deserve to be loved the most, at the same time.. we're the strongest foundation to ILLICIT." Dean said and I turned my body around looking at him.
"I know you're talking to me like this because you're considering of leaving. You can leave if you want, Angelo. I know I'm not perfect, I'm not a good leader nor brother." Dean turned to me and he gave me a small smile.
"In the end of the day, everything I do will hurt people." He added.
"Can you at least tell me why? We all knew the tragedy a few years back but I'm positive that it's not the only case that you're like this." I said frustrated.
"You might be an ILLICIT member but you don't know how ILLICIT means to me, Angelo. It's my word, my life and what keeps me alive." Dean got up and I looked down to the ground.
"We all feel the same, Dean. It's not just you."
"I know you've been through a lot, Angelo, but trust me.. one day, you will regret having someone beside you. It will only hurt you and them. I've been there.. especially on their last breath." I looked up to him.
"We have each other now, we can protect each other. You even still keep your eyes on Phoenix and Adrian!" I found myself bursting angrily at him.
"Angelo, in my life.. I only have the four of you. I don't have anyone left." Suddenly the alarm went off and Dean took off his lab coat.
"You still don't understand, Angelo. I would die for the four of you and you all still don't understand. Instead of believing in me, you all became selfish and leave."
"Dean, I-"
"If you want to leave, you can leave. I'm not holding back someone who wants to leave. I've had enough with two." He said and then left the room. I found myself broke down crying.
Life has been hard and will always be. All I want to do is.. just be happy for once and let everything go.
But still.. I can't find myself leaving ILLICIT. As much ws I want to be with Dakota, I still can't let ILLICIT go.
I went out to find what's going on in the headquarters since the alarm went off.
"What's wrong?" I asked one of the staff who passed by.
"Someone trying to hack into the system, Mr. De Luca." I quickly ran to the security section. I saw Dean trying to handle everything. It's a chaos and slowly.. everything went slow.
Dean is right.
The 3 of us are the strongest foundation for ILLICIT. I can't leave, I really can't leave. They need me and I just hope my feelings will get better in the future.
"I'm sorry, Dakota."
