Hate Me

twenty eight - saved

( Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you. )

J U S T I N

What could be worse, in this moment? What could be worse, then seeing the girl I love, barely breathing? And what was I meant to do, when she looked up at me, with barely open eyes? 

I felt sick. The blood is everywhere, on the floor, her body. What am I meant to do? 

She isn't dead, that's for sure. She isn't dead, and I am so happy she isn't. What would I have done loosing the only person I have ever loved? The only person who understood my own past problems, along with my current ones. And although they could never match up to how horrible her own life is, she understood me and helped me as best as she could. What would I do without that?

"Hunter." somehow, I have spoken, and am kneeling beside her, brushing some of her blood covered hair away from her forehead. Her eyes flutter, but don't fully open, they stay small slits. 

I pull my phone out of my pocket, only to see the message she had sent me, about an hour ago; Look what you've done to me.

I want to scream, and cry, and yell at this girl and myself more then anyone will ever know. What have I done to her? I made her do this to herself, I am a monster of the real world.

Pushing away my thoughts, I focus my attention to the girl who is gasping for breath in front of me. I quickly call the three emergency numbers I knew to call when I needed help from the age of four, but I had never thought I would need it, I always thought my life was to perfect to have a emergency like this one.

"9-1-1, what is you're emergency?" the woman on the other side of the line asks, and she sounds calm, like they all do when you see them in a movie or television show.

"I have a girl here, and she tried killing herself...there is so much blood and she is barely breathing...she can't die on me." my voice cracks, and I have started crying now. I give her the address and we both hang up, after she promises to send the ambulance there as soon as she can. 

I set my phone on the ground, and pick up Hunter's frail and limp hand, holding her cold skin against mine. "Hunter, I am so so sorry," I whisper, one of my tears falling onto the skin of her arm, on the blood that is smeared there. "what did I do to you?" I cry, gripping her hand tighter.

I don't hear it, when the sirens from the ambulance are heard, pulling into the parking lot. I don't know that they are hear, till one of them is trying to pull me away from Hunter, and I start screaming, trying to stay with her. 

And now, watching them from the corner of the room, where they demand me to stay, I watch as they lift her limp body onto a stretcher, and quickly rush her out of the room, me quickly jogging behind them. People in the lobby gasp, and parents cover their children's eyes outside as they watch the poor girls body get rushed into the back of an ambulance.

"Hey boy!" someone yells, and I stop, turning my attention to the voice. It's the woman who was behind the desk, now standing in the doorway, a look of sadness on her face. "keep her safe yeah?" she yells, and I nod before finally turning around and running to catch up with them.

They let me into the back of the ambulance, as long as I promise to say out of the way. They need to do work on her body now, they tell me, or she won't make it to the hospital.

Will her mother find out? I ask myself, as I watch them start to rub the blood of her skin to try and find the cuts, taping them to stop them bleeding any further.