Hate Me

fourteen - papers

( You never doubted my opinions on things like suicidal hate. )

H U N T E R

After I'm done school I find myself at home alone. I am currently in the kitchen humming to myself a new tune I have found by 5 Seconds Of Summer and searching through all the kitchen cabinets.

I pull the next handle open and out falls a folder and a million papers that I'm guessing the folder held. "Shit," I curse under my breath and bend down, my knees cracking, as I start picking the papers up.

When I pick the first paper up I flip it over so I can read it. I almost recognize the letter instantly.

Dear Ray family,

 We have been asked to deliver the message to your daughter Hunter that MacKenzie Barrett has passed away due to a plane crash.

I know there is more on the letter to read but I don't read any further, just like I didn't read any further the first time I had read it. I got this letter two weeks after my dad and brother died. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and eyes before putting the paper back into it's folder and picking up the next thing. It's a picture.

A picture of MacKenzie and I three or four years ago, I remember when my mom used to obsess over how cute we were together, and how she would plan his and I's weddings and debate what our future children would look like. Of course she would have enjoyed doing that more if she had MacKenzie's mom to plan it out with, but his mom had left him when he was really young, and only had his dad.

You can't see our faces in the picture, just our silhouettes, my mom used to be an amazing photographer. 

In the picture we are standing on a rocky shore that I reconize is the shore of the summer house we used to go to all the time. I am trying to ballence on a rock, with my arms held out to the sides and my hair blowing in the wind as I tried not to wobble. MacKenzie is behind me, and would be hard to find if it wasn't for his head tilting to the side in-between my shoulder and cheek. His arms are wrapped around my waist tightly and his lips are pressed to my cheek in a small kiss. I remember this.

This was one of those days where everything felt perfect, and everything felt amazing, I remember lying next to MacKenzie at the night who was sleeping while I stayed awake all night hoping the day wouldn't end.

I miss him.

I take the photo and pick up another article, except this one has been cut out from a newspaper. 

I flip it over to read it when the phone rings. I sigh and stand up from my crouched position in the middle of the kitchen floor as I try and find the phone.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hi, may I speak to Hunter please?" I recognize the voice as Justin's.

"This is Hunter," My voice changes into something sadder as I hold the phone between my shoulder and ear and crouch down next to the papers again, picking everything up that fell out of it and putting it back into the folder that I now see is labeled H+M, for Hunter and MacKenzie.

"Oh hey Hunter. How was your day?" Justin asks.

"I'm still here, aren't I?" I sigh and stand with the folder in my hand. But instead of putting the folder back into the cabinet where I found it I start making my way up the stairs and into my room slowly.

"Did you even come to school today?" He asks.

"Do I come off as someone who ditches?" I snap back at him.