High Voltage

1

I watched as my mom giggled sitting on the couch cuddled up to the man i despised with every ounce of blood in me. 

How could she.... she's so pathetic. What a low life bitch 

I couldn't lie and say I've always hated her. She used to be a walking ray of joy and sunshine. That all changed 2 years ago when my father passed. Im not even sure how he died. No one ever told me the full story but since then everything changed

she became a drunken coward and hated me ever since. so i guess you can say the feeling between us is mutual. 

She'd be so drunken up and in her feelings, Telling me that i was reason he was gone and if only they didn't waste so much time raising me she could have had more alone time with him.

and memories full of the two of them together. A part of me didn't want to hate her. In the beginning i knew that it was all coming from a place of hurt. That she didn't actually feel that way... right?? But after the constant verbal and physical abuse you grow to read things for what it is and now i can see clearly that she meant every word she drunkenly preached to me.

What made the situation even worse is she remarried... to a man i couldn't stand who also happened to come with a pain in the ass daughter. 

And for some reason my mother treated her more like her own blood than me.

Everything was about her... i wasn't even allowed to morn the lost of my father properly. 

It wasn't me who lost a father, It was HER who lost a spouse. 

It wasn't me who was hurt over the death of a love one, It was HER who was shattered and torn to pieces over her lovers death 

For whatever reason i wasn't allowed to feel hurt or pained at the death of my father bc to her i could never truly know how it felt to lose someone. My feelings meant nothing to her which is why when she remarried she forced me to change my last name to match her's and her new family.  i wasn't even allowed to speak my father's name. 

It was like he was wiped clean from our lives and she loved it that way.

My father died 2 years ago and the year after she was married again.

I was 21 when she got married to this prick. A whole fucking adult. Why the fuck should i go legally change my last name to match theirs?

they are no family to me.

What was worse is that i was forced to live with them in this crummy mansion

yeah you heard it right.... Mansion 

Her new hubby was some hot shot drug dealer or mafia leader, i never payed much attention to him after making it known i wasn't a fan of him. or his slutty princess of a daughter