A Forsaken path

Chapter five

My Life is a living hell. I can't seem to live with myself anymore. David and I have grown further apart than ever. Even Isaac and beth no longer notice my presence in a room. What have I done? It's been a month since I've last tasted food. I haven't lost count. I can never lose count. It feels just like yesterday everyday. How does my mother live with herself. She comes to see me everyday. I can't bear to look at her anymore. She scares me and each time she sees the look on my face she says "Don't look at me like that child, we're the same. We made the same choice." I cringe. Everyday, I'm thinking of how to reverse the curse and I'm not getting anywhere. Over a thousand books to read. I've been through a Hundred already. I must find a way. Maybe not for my beth, but for generations after. David seems to be living again. He has lost his perfect smile. His smile seems to be a lot more crooked now but at least he smiles, when he throws Isaac up in the air or when beth tickles him or teases him about his porridge. My mother makes food for the children and David. Beth asks questions. She has asked why mother locks herself up in the room. She has also asked the other questions. David never knows what to say.

I haven't discovered anything so far. I know that every curse can be broken. I'll never give up. My father hasn't come to visit me. I think he is disappointed in me. I would be too. I don't think I wish i could take it all back. It had to be done. Beth needs me, so do David and Isaac and so does bringing an end to the curse. I need to get my strength back. I've decided to eat tomorrow. Replenish my strength and maybe ask David to help me. Night and day are no different to me anymore. Every moment of my life, I have now dedicated to finding the cure. That's my redemption. I need redemption. David hasn't given up on me. He loves me too much. I wonder whether he's disappointed in me too. He made this my choice, my burden to bear, but he still loves me. I can't think of my noble husband now, I must find the cure.